feel so sick:(

[urtwistingmymelonman]

hi all.
sorry if long post.
bit of back ground.
current partner an i been together 5 years and expecting first dc together(due next week).
I have nine year old from previous who lives with us.
he has a 17 year old daughter and 15 year old son who live with their mum.
there has always been problems between him and his ex mainly being her withholding the children from him(he took her to court in the early days and won visitation rights as she wouldn't let them see him).
since then she has done this off and on when she has demanded more money on a six monthly basis.
he has raised the amount he gives her four times since we have been together but the most recent time refused because he just cant afford any more.
since I have become pregnant there has been no end of problems.
his daughter mainly has told her dad that she is jealous of this baby and has been slagging him off on fb(I know!)calling him a waste of space and her mum and uncle have been calling him a prick.
so I went on fb this morning to see this again.
I private messaged his daughter and said I understand that you have issues with your dad but can you talk to him in private and not do things on fb.
she has since messaged me back telling me that her dad is a prick and that he cheated on her mum,hes probably already cheated on me and that hes been texting her mum asking to go round there and sleep with her!
I have just spoken to other half and he seemed genuinely shocked at the accusations but now I feel sick and don't know what to feel or where to go from here.

My advice would be to talk to your oh face to face when you can.
It sounds to me like she's jealous (as you've already said) and is willing to anything to split you up, hoping that he then won't see your baby. He needs to speak to his daughter and explain that this behaviour isn't on.

You need to focus on you and your baby. I had massive stress just over a week off my due date and this led to my waters breaking early! So rest, talk to him calmly and definitely consider the fact she is probably stirring or exaggerating!

I'm sorry I can't help more, didn't want to read and run x

17 year olds who are hurting and want to strike out (as shown by her posts on facebook) are not reliable. Speak to your partner face to face as soon as you can so you can feel reassured that what she is saying is untrue (regarding asking to have sex with his ex-wife).

Do not engage with the daughter again, let your partner try to heal the relationship with his children in what is clearly a very difficult time for them, but one they are going to have to come to terms with.

There is nothing you can do about the uncle or the ex-wife and what they are saying, but I would avoid reading facebook posts from them while they are being spiteful and immature about your partner, it wont do you any good to read about it.

I hope you are able to feel better about this soon - all the best with the rest of the pregnancy and the birth! Focus on the good things, you have a baby on the way and a partner who you love, a DD who I hope is excited to be a sister, and 2 step children who I am sure will come around to the idea of a new sibling with time.

thank you blue.
I rang him up and spoke to him right away and he seemed very angry and shocked.and genuine.
I think the only thing that has put doubt in my mind is that we have both always had a high sex drive and a great sex life and that has tailed off just recently due to me being heavily pregnant obviously.
I asked his daughter if her mum had kept these texts and,conveniently,she hasn't.

Sex drives often take a nose dive in pregnancy, especially towards the end!!
Be calm and reasonable, think of the baby. And like the above said, don't have any more contact with your DPs daughter, she is hurting and hitting out.
Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy

thanks dot.
I have erased her from my list as I am tired of seeing it all the time and have totally kept out of everything for five years.
I know it was a mistake to message her and probably should have just left it to oh but hes always so scared to say anything to his ex or his kids for fear of upsetting them.
I just couldn't hold my toungue again but wish I had.
my son who is nine is mega exited about the baby so I just think at nearly eighteen she needs to get over it.

Ugh, hate Facebook.

I think people reading her posts will hide her feed though.. Who wants to be reading that .. I think people can read between the lines.

Absolutely don't worry about lack of sex drive at this stage.. Even th logistics of it, never mind the energy make it difficult.

that's the thing mamma.
ive never minded fb because I have always used it in a very lighthearted manner.
I never get personal or share my personal problems on there.
that's why I messaged his daughter privately.
on here its different as its completely anonymous and you can get good advice.
why do people do this and why did I let myself get drawn into it.
stupid me.