I am essentially a sahm although I do work part time doing party plan. I have 3dc. 2 primary aged and a 1 year old. I love all my children to bits but our last child wasn't planned and I still feel (d) h blames me for her conception. I have got myself into a position where I do pretty much all childcare when I am around. Especially for 3rd dd . Dh earns good money but makes me feel like the money is his. I had to opt out of chb because it was too much effort for him to complete a tax return. As a result he gets ratty when I appear to overspend on cr card . He claims we have enough cleaning material s etc when he has no way of knowing as he neither cleans or washes clothes etc. Yet he will happily spend on himself because he works hard and deserves it. Yet he is in bed at 9.30pm as he has to be up early for work but I can only rest when dd finally settles. Usually 10pm if I am lucky. I do pretty much all the housework . He does garden and diy. Not exactly every day tasks. He is also very messy so if he cooks ie puts something in oven he leaves crumbs, packaging etc all over the place. If I clean a sink I find shaving foam in it next day etc etc. You get the picture.
I just know life will be better without him. He has twice said we should have aborted dd. Once in front of our other dc..
I want out but don't know how to go about it. We have a home mortgaged to the hilt. Also houses in our street are just not selling.
Any advice or encouragement appreciated.