I posted back in March under a different user name about my OH who I'd discovered had 2 sons he'd never told me about. Our relationship had crumbled due to financial pressures of multiple redundancies, maternity leave and his escalating marijuana habit. He also habitually lied and had become more and more distanced from the relationship and took responsibility for nothing to do with the family or managing the household.
It's been a nightmare 7 months but he's finally out of the house. I packed his stuff threw him out and changed the locks. I'd grown tired of his excuses as to why he hadn't even looked for anywhere to live. The only reason it's taken so long is because I was worried about the impact of the separation on my 5 yr old.
My ex thinks I'm being unreasonable for not giving him another chance. He's told me he's going to kill himself and he has told my child that he's leaving because Mummy doesn't want Daddy here anymore and Daddy hasn't got anywhere to live. When my DD crumpled into tears, he glared at me and said "I hope you're happy".
Apart from wanting some moral support - I'm facing a nasty few months I feel - I would be grateful for any guidance I can try and share with my ex about how to talk about separation to kids with minimal short term and long term impacts. I need to get through to him that this isn't about point scoring between adults but that doing it wrong has very real consequences for a child.