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Relationships

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Can you date long term indefinately? Or do you always have to move things on a stage?

2 replies

sharesinNivea · 17/11/2013 23:27

Just that really. I've been dating someone for over a year and half, we are both mid 40s, neither ever married but both had previous long term live-in relationships. I have two young children, he has none.

He has stayed at mine every weekend all this time from Saturday evening, returning home Sunday evening.

Every couple of months we have a night off together when the children are babysat by my family overnight.

But for some reason, the last couple of months I have found it really difficult to watch him return home Sunday evening, to the point of being tearful.
He has his bachelor life and visits me at weekends and then goes back to his life, and my life stays the same, just without him in it. My children love him. I love him. I just want him here every day :/

Sometimes we meet up for coffee midweek. But the nature of his job means he often works late at night at home prepping things for the next morning, so he can't really stay overnight at mine during the week.

Is it possible to quash this feeling and continue 'long term dating' indefinately, or at some point do I have to consider a conventional progression, ie that I miss him so much I might have to ask him if he'd seriously consider living together one day?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/11/2013 23:31

If, to make you feel happy and secure, you want a traditional relationship where you live under the same roof then that's what you want. If it's not what he wants then you potentially have an incompatibility. There's only one way to find out.

VelvetSpoon · 17/11/2013 23:52

I agree. There's nothing wrong with wanting him around more, or for the relationship to progress...but you do have to accept that this may be enough for him and he may be quite happy with things as they are.

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