Delayed grief - counselling, action or let it lie?

[YouCantTeuchThis]

My husband has anger issues but, after a fairly honest discussion, he reckoned that his thoughts about his loss incites his anger...mostly realted to the fact that they are not around to advise/participate/enjoy... But it was over a decade ago.

I reckoned that speaking to someone would be helpful, he thought it was 'too long ago' and that he wasn't qualified to grieve because he's not immediate family.

Has anyone had grievance counselling years later? Is it worth me pushing him?

Ultimately, what you have is an angry man who presumably is unpleasant to live with. If he thinks that something from his past is causing this anger he owes it to you to deal with it, either solo or with help. He should not have to be 'pushed' or persuaded or cajoled to do this.... as a loving husband and a decent man he would be taking the initiative. It is not acceptable for him to do nothing and expect you to put up with angry behaviour.

That's what you tell him.

I totally agree, he has acknowldged that he should deal with it. But he's of a 'kind' that don't even go to the doctor. My question is whether it's worth pursuing counselling for him, which is very hard to access where we are...

Where does he start?

It's not fun living with him, no! But I do feel like something must help!

Sadly, I know the 'kind', but he has to take full responsibility for his own behaviour for once. Acknowledging without acting is just lip-service otherwise. All you can do is set up the consequences for what happens if he doesn't get help. Or are you too frightened of him to do that?

No, I think you are right. Consequences are obvious to me if not him. I'm not frightened of him yet but I don't like how things are going. It's his problem and if he doesn't address it we will never know whether our 'problems' are real or not!

It doesn't matter how long ago or that they had no blood ties, he needs to speak to someone. Preferably a grief specialist. Tell him to call Cruse.

If he does not, then you have a problem. Namely, him.