Tingle, she didn't say that; it's simply an explanation that they lead different lives and over the past months and perhaps years. I don't know who in their right mind could think fulltime sole charge of infant/preschooler twins (OP has previously mentioned twins when posting) plus running a house doesn't count as working all week - a nanny would do less and be paid well for it - but as it happens, the OP hasn't even said she doesn't work outside the home, just that as her DH works such crazily long hours she has taken over all household responsibility, and as a result their lives have diverged and they've drifted apart. She's looking for advice on how that can be fixed, and if it can. Your response is just your own biases placed on a third party, in the form of a personal attack on her. Really unhelpful.
OP, I think looking after tiny kids does tend to be a bit of a tunnel, and your relationship often turns into housemates with creche attached for a while. I honestly think that's pretty normal. I don't think it has to be the end, no, but I do think you need to arrange childcare one weekend lunch (dinner, and you'll likely be knackered) and go for a meal where you can lay it on the line. And I think you might want to contemplate couple's counselling and telling him bluntly that his thinking there are no major problems is a major problem, because it's very good evidence he has absolutely no idea what you feel or think, and if he's brushing aside your trying to tell him then that's also evidence that he's not really that interested (in fairness, he could just be hoping it goes away of its own accord/not wanting to admit it to himself, rather than not caring). Counselling is one thing, but I also think if at all possible that you need to make a point of setting aside time to spend together, doing something you always used to enjoy, with no kids within a mile of you at all. Because spending time with Daddy will be a lot less likely if you split, anyway, and so couple time now is an investment for them, not taking time from them.
I genuinely think having very young kids drains so much love, energy and time from couples that almost all have a few cracks in the relationship in these earliest years. I think within 2 years they'll be schoolage and far more independent you'll have your life back again - it's such a short time - but I don't think the odds of having a relationship at the end of it are great if you don't communicate at all meanwhile.
Imperial is right. Without emotional intimacy surviving in a longterm relationship, sexual is not likely to either. And his failure to see any problem is evidence of how far things have drifted. It's not hopeless unless he is completely unwilling to meet you halfway, I don't think.