She has told me that her DH has hit and kicked her, also that he is forcing himself on her. They have a small baby and have not been married long. She is very isolated as they are living a plane journey away with no family anywhere near, she does not drive. They are struggling with the baby not sleeping etc etc.
The other side of this is that we have a very difficult relationship with DD. I have talked about it before. She has been a very troubled teen and is hugely manipulative, attention seeking and is a very difficult person to be around. Since she ran off to get married at 18 to her DH, who she had known for 4 months, I have feared that something like this would happen, and now they have the baby, she is stuck.
All advice at the time was, stand back, let her make her mistakes and hope that this is the making of her. She was/is an adult. So we have done that but here we are. I do not know if what she tells me is the truth. I know that she is unhappy, they have no money, life isn't what she expected. She came home for a few days with baby and of course, was centre of attention, had everything done for her and has been angling to come back here ever since. The grass is greener here.
So, despite these misgivings and knowing her as I do, I know that it is never right that he hits her even though she says she slaps him first. I have also stated very clearly that no means no and that if he is pinning her down and that she is sobbing and trying to hold on to her knickers as she says, then that is attempted/ rape, married or not. I have told her that if it happens again or that if she is afraid she must report it. I said she must confide in her GP/health visitor/ the welfare officer anyway. The issues DD has are complex but violence or abuse is not acceptable, ever. How do I help and support her without racing in to save her- which I have done far too much of in the past and which has only served to teach her that drama=attention.