No longer on speaking terms with another Mum and Dad in the playground

[anonymous13]

who used to be family friends. They have 3 dc a very similar age to ours and we used to have get togethers at weekends etc....

The breakdown in our relationship is due to the fact that dh built their extension which has results in lots of bitterness and unresolved issues on both sides, and them still owing h 3 to 4 grand (though no doubt they will have what they say are valid reasons for the fact that they haven't yet paid this ).

The level of hurt and anger I feel is astonishingly high, and as far as I know my friend (I was more friends with the mum) feels the same way. So I cannot see a situation where we can have a superficial kind of situation in the playground or even arrange for one of my daughters and one of hers (who get on) to play, as the relationship between both my h and hers has really badly broken down, to the extent that my h has been saying that their daughter can come to ours but ours can't go to theirs if my friend's h is there (how am I supposed to arrange that exactly ?).

So I am now in this weird situation of no longer being on speaking terms with somebody who used to be my friend (or so I thought). Feels surreal, and also makes me wonder what she has been saying to a couple of people we both know - kind of makes you paranoid. To be fair, I have spoken to three of my closer friends (not particularly friendly with her) about the whole situation so she may be feeling the same way...

I am not sure why I am posting really. Maybe to ask if anybody can relate to the anger and hurt which mean that ultimately the only solution seems to be to stop talking? It also makes for a kind of uncomfortable pick up and drop off as I am constantly wondering if she is going to be around.

resulted to results!

your DH needs to take this through the legal channels and resolve it properly. you and the mum should have a talk and agree to be polite to each other at the very least for the sake of the children.

I fell out with a school mum friend. It was never/couldn't be resolved. We just avoided each other until the DC left the school. Horrible situation. I feel for you OP.

Could you arrange to meet the woman at a neutral place to try and clear the air. I had a similar issue with someone and we did manage to sort things out enough to carry on arrange play dates between our dds.

We focused on salvaging the relationship rather than the business side though and fortunately they are at different schools.

Is there a sort of arbitration service that you can use? Sorry, totally clueless...if not, then legal advice to get things sorted once and for all?

Did he build the extension as favour to a friend type arrangement, eg reduced price, or was it just treated like any other customer with proper paperwork etc?

Have they tried to resolve the issues regarding the conservatory?

agree with meeting at a neutral place with the mum...

but also, can the building work not be resolved? were there issues that they felt were unsatisfactory but your dh disagreed? if they weren't family friends what would he have done with unhappy customers?
there must be some kind of resolution

You acknowledge that there is fault in both sides. Your DH did an unsatisfactory job. They refused to pay in full.

Can your DH not fix the issues, get paid, and then try and move on?

And in future NEVER mix business with friends and family, it always ends in tears.

I don't have advice but how awful for you. It rattled you completely when you fall out with a friend. Even more do when it's someone you see daily.

My dh is a tradesman and we've done work for friends in a professional capacity.

Only one job went tits up, the warranty on their appliance was up yet they expected us to do the work , labour and all at no expense to them whatsoever.

It's really difficult , I hated the atmosphere and.we reached a compromise but the friendship was buggered.