MIL meltdown again

[seoladair]

I wrote last year about MIL shouting hysterically at me in front of my 15 month old because we were trying to get her to fit in with our rules. She yelled "I do things my way, not yours". My poor daughter was so scared and I was shaking.

We are at her house for the weekend & just had another incident.
Our daughter is going through a phase of trying to poke eyes and my husband and I were discussing safety around mil's dog. Obviously we wouldn't want the dog to be hurt. We are also concerned about it retaliating and injuring our toddler.

Mil interrupted and told me I worry too much. On a previous occasion the usually docile dog (a golden retriever) snapped at our daughter.
Mil has a history of being careless with our daughter which has already led to a visit to a & e but still she tells me I worry too much.

She is very highly strung and seems to need to control everything. I understand why her own daughter is almost estranged from her. I have read Toxic In-laws and it helped but mil doesn't seem to have accepted the boundaries.

Rather than staying silent, seething and resentful? Yes, I think calling her on her behaviour and clearly telling her what you want from her is a good approach.

I told my mother how trying the weekend had been. She is sympathetic but said I should give mil chocolates or flowerd next time I see her. Mum thinks mil needs constant praise, admiration and gratitude. This is true, but I don't want to keep rewarding her rudeness. I am tired of her over-ruling every parenting decision I make and I want to break the cycle.

I think you're right. Presumably you're buying her thank you gifts such as chocolates or flowers anyway, no need to over do it just to placate her.

I think you're right too. And congrats on standing up to her!