DH, DS and a shoe

[ShoeSmacking]

I'm a regular but have nc for this.

We were out this afternoon and ds was being difficult. He's 2.6, and is currently (still) teething with a back molar. We were trying to get his shoes on and because he was being very noisy and yelling, DH took him out of the main restaurant we were in to the lobby.

DS was still being difficult, writhing and yelling and punching. We have both in the past smacked him lightly on the hand if we feel it's absolutely necessary. The kind that snaps him out of it, but isn't sore. And I don't like doing it so we only do it when he's really going ballistic and kicking/scratching/biting.

DH was putting on his shoe, DS tried to scratch him so DH smacked his hand with the shoe he was holding. DS didn't even notice really and wasn't in the least bit upset but I am absolutely fuming. I say that smacking a child with anything except the hand, and even then only in very rare circumstances, is not ok. DH things I'm being ridiculous and over reacting.

I am so angry right now. DS HAS been hard work all day and both of us have been feeling the pressure as a result. So I understand why he did it. But, surely it's his responsibility to stop and think for a minute even if, as he points out, DS didn't even notice?

I told him that he's crossed a line for me and if he did it again I'd probably leave him. He' thinks I'm being hysterical.

Am I?

Im not going against your style of parenting as i believe each to their own. But i did want to add my thoughts about smacking.

Parents are role models, now if we smack them because they are smacking - how can that be a lesson to a child that hitting is unacceptable behavior?
I really cant see how that works.

I dont think any child should be smacked, let alone with a shoe. Whether it bothered him or not. He was already in a temper.
In order for a child to calm down, the parents need to teach him how - by remaining calm.

But, i know how hard it is when they are kicking off big style in a crowded place.

I dont think you are over reacting. I think dh did. I dont think yo should hold it against him though.

Massively overreacting. He smacked him as he had the shoe in his hand. Nothing wrong with a smack if it's used to correct behavior. Huge difference from being abusive.