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Original poster

Am I over reacting or should I boot his backside in the spare room? ?

20 replies

YellowRose2728 · 15/11/2013 23:29

Please be brutally honest...I can take it Wink

DP has gone out this evening, planned for a week or so. The plan was I would pick him up so he could have a few drinks (only locally). So, no contact all night apart from a message 10 minutes ago telling me that he was now getting a lift home and didn't need a lift grrrr!!

Bearing in mind that at 26 weeks pregnant, its a huge battle to stay awake past nine pm, am I being a little bit harsh to feel pissed off and replying that I am going to bed and he can bugger off to the spare room??

OP posts:
skyeskyeskye · 15/11/2013 23:31

I think he has been a bit inconsiderate in not contacting you earlier, BUT he was probably only offered a lift, when he mentioned calling you to pick him up and he probably thought that he was doing you a favour to save you having to go out and pick him up?....

I could be totally wrong, but that is how I read the situation :)

Wonderstuff · 15/11/2013 23:32

Not sure I understand why you're upset? You can go to bed now and don't have to go out in the cold and pick him up.

Leverette · 15/11/2013 23:32

This reply has been deleted

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PuddingAndHotMilk · 15/11/2013 23:33

I understand your frustration but he probably thinks he's done you a favour by not needing a lift now. By all means say you're off to bed but he's not really done anything wrong IMO.

MorrisZapp · 15/11/2013 23:34

I don't get it.

Original poster
YellowRose2728 · 15/11/2013 23:35

I think it's purely because he knows that I would be waiting for him to call to pick him up.

But I shall snuggle up in the warm and try to calm my hormones Wink

Thanks ladies Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
YellowRose2728 · 15/11/2013 23:37

The guy offering the lift had been on the night out also. Men obviously are not great at communcating as us women Wink

Calmness has been restored.

OP posts:
Mellowandfruitful · 15/11/2013 23:49

The lesson here is, next time just assume he'll get himself home and go to bed when you want. Once the baby arrives he'll have to do that anyway, so tell him cheerfully that will be the arrangement from now on.

BeCoolFucker · 15/11/2013 23:58

I agree - rack it up to lesson learned. Prioritise your early nights and enjoy having the house to yourself. He's a grown up & I'm sure he can arrange to get himself home on a night out. I've managed to do it for years and years and years now.

scottishmummy · 16/11/2013 00:14

I can't see any reason for consternation.adult man get lift home.you're not inconvenienced

Abbykins1 · 16/11/2013 01:04

Being brutally honest,you are over reacting.

Bogeyface · 16/11/2013 01:09

"I am out on Friday on a works do"

"OK, what time do you think you will be back?"

"Errmm not sure. Why?"

"I was just wondering, make sure you take your key as I will probably be in bed"

"Oh. Will you not be picking me up then?"

"Take a wild guess genius"

PuddingAndHotMilk · 16/11/2013 03:19

Grin @ Bogeyface. "Take a wild guess genius"

Yellow - you're spot on with the communication thing. Men just don't think ahead or communicate proactively as far as I can tell.

differentnameforthis · 16/11/2013 06:07

I think you are being harsh. Perhaps he has only just been offered a lift?

DropYourSword · 16/11/2013 06:23

This is the second thread I've seen where it seems women expect texts or calls throughout the evening when their partner is out. Is that the normal expectation? If my DH went out I definitely wouldn't expect him to be checking in with me every 5 minutes, and I don't think that contacting you at 11.30 on a night out is so late? If you are giving a lift home I reckon in future have a conversation about the sort of time you agree you'll pick them up. But I honestly don't see the issue here!!

nooka · 16/11/2013 06:30

I really really don't get the problem unless you were expecting to pick him up much earlier, in which case why on earth didn't you either arrange an earlier time to pick him up or ring to tell him that it was late and you were either picking him up in a few minutes or he could make his own way home?

Communication is generally a two way thing isn't it?

Re the spare room is that because he will be boozy and snore or something or some sort of punishment for getting a lift and not needing you?

KepekCrumbs · 16/11/2013 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovesBeingHereAgain · 16/11/2013 06:36

I get it op, you could have been asleep much earlier Grin

When I go out dh always waits up for me, me? Never.

tribpot · 16/11/2013 06:48

Men obviously are not great at communcating as us women

As well as being an unnecessary generalisation, I can't see the relevance here. For all you know, your DH never mentioned how he was getting home until the time arose (and who does, on a night out?) and the friend offered to give him a lift at that stage.

Perhaps some planning on both your parts could have led to a conversation about whether anyone on the night out might be able to give him a lift home. Personally at 26 weeks, I would have said 'I can't stay up past 9 so if you want a lift then, fine, otherwise you'll need to make another arrangement'.

Cabrinha · 16/11/2013 08:48

Fuss over nothing, sorry. You agreed you'd pick him up - that's not his fault. He let you know when he got another other. Why could you go to bed at 9pm anyway, and let his pick up call wake you up? A bit martyred, and I'd be really "WTF?!" if it were me being sent to the spare room for that.

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