The joy of being a rebound!

[TheNewSchmoo]

Been seeing a guy for a while. His wife left him for someone else. Fell in love. He said he did too. In fact he said it first and repeatedly. I should have known it was too much too soon but he swept me off my feet before unexpectedly and inexplicably asking for space. Left him alone for a week and he's text today to say he's not over his break up and it was wrong of him to start a relationship with me (not even a bloody phone call). I mnow he's just being honest but I don't even know what advice I want. I just want to feel less shit.

*know not mnow!

I am sorry, love

Advice though ? Use your brain, not your heart, next time x

If it were that easy!

Well, I dunno.

I don't personally think it is that hard to engage common sense before falling for romantic fuckwittery. You will know better next time (one hopes).

Been there, done that OP. Taught me a lot. Taught me to run AWAAAAYYY for the hills if the 'L' word is mentioned too soon.

If he bounces back to you (which he might) just remind him of what he said and then politely decline further contact, yes?

Sorry you've been dumped OP. Never a nice experience. All you can really do is lick your wounds, be with people that love you and give anyone who gives you a similar vibe a wide berth if you're unlucky to meet a similar one again. Good luck

Ohh to be as wise as you Mist!

I'm sorry OP. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to lick your wounds. X

I assume that is sarcasm you are employing there, Pink ?

Sometimes "there there" and a patronising pat on the head doesn't work for grown ups IMO

Op already said she shouldn't have fallen for the flannel and she was entirely correct

Lesson learned and all that. We've all been there. Repeating the same mistake really would not be a good idea.

Sympathy op! I imagine he is also feeling pretty dreadful. You can't really tell where someone else's head is, and I guess he wanted it to work, but wasn't really available. Awful thing to do to a person though.

What sort of timescale was it? (Am seeing a guy who is recently separated, as am I, and wonder about rebound...)

@mama We met 4 months after they split

Thanks for replying. Well that seems reasonable to think he had begun to get over it, guess it depends on so many other factors though.
Hoping me and mine aren't doing the rebound thing, I guess it is hard to tell until it goes wrong!
Hope you have good things planned for your weekend, help you get over him.

I don't think you've made a mistake. My partner and I were talking about love and practically living together within a few weeks and that's 12 years ago now.

Hi NewSchmoo, sorry your hurting, just wanted to add my thoughts I don't think you made a mistake either, I met my DH within 4 months of his marriage ending, and 20 years later we are still together.

I have a friend who met her partner just after his marriage broke down, he hadn't seen it coming, and she spent a couple of years with him in my opinion treating her appallingly, ending their relationship & then coming back only to leave a couple of months later.

Do you know how or why his marriage broke down? Did it come as a shock to him, or had he seen it coming? My DH knew his marriage was crumbling, and as much as it hurt at the time, they both knew it was for the best when went their separate ways and he was in a better place emotionally to "start again"

Thanks the more kind posters. I wasn't expecting "there there have a hug", and we're all different, but I am a more emotional than practical person.

That said onwards and upwards. I feel utterly crap but am wallowing under a duvet this weekend and intend to pull myself together Monday and force myself to move forward, I think a week of being an emotional crying mess is quite enough.

And in reply to Doink he didn't see it coming, wife left him for someone she met at work.