I've spent the past 5 years with the same man who has a very unsecure line of work. He's spent the first 3 years flitting between countries in the winter months; as I was always working I could never go with him. Last year he landed a more permanent job at home and our relationship was better than ever. We were coming into a bit of money and discussing our plans for a new home and family but around August he lost his job after being unprofessional during a disagreement with a boss. He'd promised to look for more stable work so I was very disappointed when he applied for a job in the middle east and went.
We were barely able to communicate between October - December. I was having problems with work and unfortunately my father fell very ill. Things were pilling up on me and without my partner there I ended up with mild depression which I began exercising to combat as advised by the doctor. When my partner finally came home he got a job on the other side of the country and meant we began more of a weekend relationship. He was frustrated at my dedication to my new exercise regime and said I didn't make much of an effort with him which boggled me as I made just as much effort to communicate as I always have when he flitted about. I tried to make more effort, things seemed to be okay and he booked us a get away for our 5 year anniversary.
The week just before our break I went out on a very rare night out and he phoned me continuously to ask who I was with and what I was doing. Totally out of character and not at all his behaviour. The last call of a night ended with him calling me a selfish C*nt. The next day I called to discuss and tell him I was so upset about his behaviour the previous night and he launched in to questioning if I ever loved him. Stupidly I said "what do you think, I'm still here supporting you and your choices after all these years".
For two weeks he didn't speak to me, see me and avoided my calls. Then when he finally did he was annoyed with me and demanded I admit fault. To say I was to blame for the break down of the relationship. I tried to talk about his distant behaviour and how hard I have found it to have depression whilst he hasn't been about to support me but that only got me back to being ignored.
Another week past and I discover in those two weeks after he split he had been dating another girl near where he works because she tags him on Facebook. I drove 200 miles to see him for the first time since before our row, not giving him the chance to avoid me. When I get there Friday night he isn't happy and doesn't want to talk at first. But we still end up sharing a bed, the weekend goes up and down. From behaving like a normal couple, to turning on me every time his phone rings or he gets a message. On sunday night we sleep together and once finished but still connected he tells me he's not sure he feels the same… yet in the morning when I leave he tells me he wants to try again. From the moment I arrived home and for two more weeks he completely cuts me off again. I receive a message from the girl he's dating saying that she isn't interested in him anymore for some reason (I never contacted her) and then the week after they change their relationship statuses on Facebook as together.
I'm back on antidepressants and all over the place. My partner never once broke up with me just ignored me. I feel like all of this is so surreal. Am I being ignorant?