Hi, I'm afraid I'm not a regular poster at the moment. I used to be but recently life has just seemed too tough.
I've been with DH 13 years although only married 2 (a year after dd was born). We've always had our ups and downs and to be honest have had as many bad times as good.
We had an extended good period hence DD (3). DD wasn't the easiest baby, she was a terrible sleeper and that took it's toll particularly on DH who was working shifts.
DH told me that he wanted to leave me last August. At the time I was training for a world championship competition in October in my sport (it is a small aport so not as big a deal as it might be) and was quite focussed on this but I knew there was only a few weeks to go. He wasn't happy but ended up staying (basically as he didn't want to give up dd) and we went to relate a few times but that wasn't really helpful. DH thinks that it's al my fault and that I'm always the unreasonable one. He thinks that he's told me what I need to do to change and so I should just do it. He has also said that he thinks from my behaviour that I might have Aspergers. At relate he was unwilling to accept that he might need to make any changes. While I can see that I can be unreasonable DH isn't always easy to live with . He's a very sociable person who has at times in our relationship has spent a lot of times out and while that time has lessened recently he's be out at football twice a week (with a drink or a few afterwards) a quiz one evening and one or 2 other evenings with friends (and was increasingly staying over if they were going out away from home) and I get the feeling he felt that he could do this because he thought I was taking the piss before. He says that he thinks it's even now but that's a man's 70% is even!
Things have been better since October with the odd blow up but it did look as if there was a chance of making it however I seem to have blown that this weekend.
He had been away for 8 days in America (a friend's wedding) and come back Friday morning, Friday afternon and evening he was at at Stag do for another friend so we didn't really see him at all that day. Saturday I was at a competition in London. I was a bit upset as I didn't do well I'd been ill before DH went away and then couldn't train while he was away and so I was unfit and unprepared. I nnormally go to 2 gym classes on a sunday morning and Dh enjoys the tiem alone with dd. I wasn't intending to go at all this Sunday but DD was upa nd about to have a bath with dd so I stupidly asked if I could go to one and meet them at the soft play area that tey were going to in 1 1/2 hours. I realise that I shouln't have done it and that it was a self-centered request. I didn't end up going but now DH feels that I don't want to spend time with him, that he's low down my list of priorities and I think that it migt be the end of us. He says he's glad it's happened as it reminds him what a cold fish I am and how nasty I am. He says any 'normal' couple (as if we've ever been one of them) would just think my behaviour was outragious.
What would a normal couple think? Am I odd? I'm thinking of trying to go to relate by myself to seee if I do need sorting out - what do you think?
Sorry this is so long and rambling and I don't feel I've even started to explain myself.
Thanks for reading