Devonsmummy support thread

[longtallsally2]

Devonsmummy started a thread asking for practical advice and support and was frightened off it by no doubt well meaning but overzealous posting.

This is a thread to allow for more gentle support, if you are still reading Devon.

In terms of your immediate problem, improving your credit rating is a very sensible reason, and if he pushes you as to why you didn't tell him, just say that it was at the same bank as you have your joint account. If you wanted to keep it secret, you would surely have opened your account at a different bank, not one where the post may all come in one envelope . . . .

Others will have more advice about your situation, but gently ladies please.

Hello Devonsmummy. I was lurking on your thread and just ant to say I hope you are ok. Maybe go for the placating -'I just fancied one so that you couldn't see if I bought you things but if you don't want me to have one then I'll close it' Then open a new account at a new bank where he won't find it.

Hi DevonsMummy

I just wanted to send you some (((hugs))))

I haven't read the other thread beyond the initial few posts and will go back to read it all the way through.

Hope you're OK x

I just saw your other thread. I'm sorry other posters said what they did, that's no help at all. I can't think of any practical help at the moment, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to offer you some support.

I would probably say something similar to LongtallSally. But you know your partner and you probably know what is the white lie he will swallow the more easily.

Sometimes these things have to be approached like eating an elephant-little bites over time. Sometimes you need to act very swiftly. You will likely know better than some of the more er 'excitable' posters, which it should be.

Put as much outside support into place as you can. I understand how exhausting it is to be primed for action all the time but soon you will be free to rebuild a life of freedom and independence.

I wish you luck.