Feeling trapped and dont know where to turn!

[rileysdream1]

Hi all, this is my first post on this site.

I would like to know if anyone can offer any advice or suggest where I can get help.

I have decided that after 8 years of 'putting up' with my husband that enough is enough and I want to get out of the relationship. He is devastated that I want to leave and cant seem to understand why...wont go into detail!

My problem is that I want to leave but seemingly have no choice but to stay!

we have a joint mortgage but He wont agree to selling the house and he wont move out, and to be honest I really don't want the house or anything of his, but, I do also have to think of my 3 girls and what is best for them.

I asked the mortgage company if they would put the mortgage in his name only and they said due to his/ our bad credit history it is unlikely that they would do that so it seems our only option would be to sell the house (which of course he wont do!)

I don't work and have no money (except child tax credits) so cant rent a home, plus my credit history is a shambles so I suspect that I would have a hard time trying to pass the credit scoring that most landlords do.

So, to say im feeling trapped is an understatement! seemingly he holds all the cards and theres nothing I can do about it... and to make matters worse if I need money I have to keep asking him!

Id be very greatful for any advice

many thanks

I know that horrible trapped feeling :(

Go and have a chat with a solicitor and CAB and get as much information as you can.

If you were to start divorce proceedings it will be really difficult being under the same room, (been there, done that!) but if that is what it takes, so be it. It won't last forever.

your right, divorce proceedings is not something I even want to think about at the moment, id rather leave the house then deal with that as I think it would be a horrible situation for the girls to have to put up with!
thank you

Well you should be able to get a free half hour with a family law solicitor and have a chat with the CAB.

It sounds as if he is financially controlling, which is abusive behaviour. Is he controlling in other ways?

Is he controlling in other ways?

No, never has been controlling, in fact quite the opposite until I told him "its over"! I have a feeling that he thinks if he cant have me then he will just make life difficult so as I cant leave... although I don't think he would do anything maliciously, I think he sees it as if I cant leave then I might change my mind about leaving!