Supporting DH on autistic spectrum - fed up!

[kniftyknitter]

Hello, haven't posted for ages but need some advice, I'm hoping this is the right board.
DH has mild ASD. In the past few weeks he's had quite a stressful time at work, and this seems to have affected his symptoms so that he's become increasingly difficult to cope with at home!
For example, everything has to be done to his own timescale at the moment or he gets angry - yesterday, DD and I said we would be ready to go out in 10 mins, because we took 15 mins he got cross and then didn't speak to us (we were going out for a walk and coffee - so not much fun!)
And it's the routines too! He has to drive past a particular shop to look in it's windows at the moment, and this adds an extra 15 mins to any journey we go on. He has to go to certain places and so yesterday afternoon and this afternoon has gone off without us.
Perhaps I just needed to get this off my chest. It's not usually an issue, we just laugh and get on with it, but it's so pronounced and unreasonable at the moment that I'm getting fed up!
Any wise words would be much appreciated!

Well, it isn't as if his ASD is a new thing.

What are the normal coping strategies you/ he use for when his life is more stressful and his ASD becomes more obvious?

I'd personally suggest he needs to reduce whatever stress is triggering the behaviours? Seems fairly straightforward...

His work is stressful, there's not much he can do there unfortunately as it's a stressful job.

We have lots of coping strategies, luckily he hasn't been like this for about 4 years,, so I'm a bit rusty on the strategies I used then. He becomes quite manic and difficult to talk to, although talking is one of the key things - difficult when he keeps heading out though!
Just hoping someone might be able to remind me!

Well, his coping strategies are obviously timetables and routines I guess not sticking to Isle is only going to add to this stress levels?

That's not terribly helpful, I know - but if his job is cyclically stressful and you go through this with some regularity, then I guess you just have to remember 'this too shall pass'. It's harder with children who may not be used to sticking rigidly to routine and time.

Dh is obviously well aware of his strategies, so maybe try and chat it through in a calmer moment (not when he's mid-tirade, or already late and twitching, obv)

But he does need to try to sort out the work thing so that it's less stressful if he can. Particularly if his work stress triggers his asd, which in turn affects his family. Different work schedule? He gets to stay at work late when things are busy/ stressful so that when he leaves he is calmer? Look for a new job doing similar thing but in less stressful environment?

I don't think it's that uncommon, tbh. These things do tend to be cyclical, and we sort of suck up the ropy bits, knowing that things will settle again.