They say if you love someone let them go.....

[HairHairHairHair]

And if they come back they are yours.

I've been in a situation recently where I have told a guy I like a lot (not love) to sort out some issues in his life then if he wants, give me a call and we can go out on a date and see what happens, if not then don't contact me. We did go out about 10 times, did sexual things but not full sex. We have such good chemistry and get on really well, but he does have some issues that need to be resolved before he starts another relationship (very needy ex, no kids involved though, she cheated on him, and his dad is still very depressed after the sudden death of him mum last year) we are both mid - late 20's I feel harsh as I think he does need some support right now but I know it's not best for me to be the one who gives it to him iykwim.

Is this too harsh, has this ever worked for someone? I'm trying to get out of the habit of being a rescuer and feel if he likes me enough he will sort himself out and contact me. Or will he just think I don't really care about him?

How long shall I give it? Or shall I just write him off now. I have already deleted his number and on fb so I can't contact him if I ever get the urge.

This is a total change to how I usually am in relationships so I'm feeling a little....weird

I'm unsure what your asking babe

I think you need to let go and essentially forget about him.
If he ever returns, then you can see if you are willing to take him or not, as if it was a new person.

Personally, in his place I'd go and wouldn't go back. I think a person can still be supportive without being a rescuer, although if you are a rescuer it is better for you to stay well out of it.
Maybe you should work on yourself about being a rescuer, as well? :)

What if you get in a relationship and your partner suddenly has problems?

What do you mean 'worked'?

I don't know exactly what I'm asking either! It's a bit of a ramble, I've had an abusive so I'm guess I might just be a bit wary and over cautious.

That's good advice thank you!

And by worked, I guess I mean is it the best thing to do? I'm not sure really!

I thought you meant 'worked' as in some future happy ever after situation. No matter. Always do what is right for you at the time. That's a lesson people post abusive relationships often struggle with because they've grown accustomed to keeping another person happy and putting up with all kinds of rubbish in the process. By rejecting this person's problems and putting yourself first, you're doing the right thing for you. There's no obligation on you to keep the door open if he decides he wants you at some time in the future. You will have moved on.

I think you've done the right thing. Though it's not so much a case of "if you love someone let them go" as "Is this guy the person you think he is or not?" If he is just an emotional leech, you've made it clear you're not interested in rescuing him. If he's nice and genuine, he'll do exactly as you suggest.

I think as a general rule, if it feels weird and uncomfortable then it probably is.