long distance grandparents

[brimfull]

my parents live in Canada and we see the once or twice a yr.I have photos and talk about them to ds 3yrs .The problem started when he was about 2 and he was very wary of my mum.He wouldn't go to her ,quite hostile,but he was hostile and scared of older women in general then so I presumed he'd grow out of it.anyway my parents have just been for a 3 week visit(phew that's another story!).Ds was better with my mum but still quite rude and cheeky to her.He refused to let her take him to bed ,moaned if she sat next to him in the car ,said nasty comments like "you're not coming to my party"..which he says if someone pisses him off.
I find it really hurtful and I know my mum does nut she outs on a brave face.They looked after him and dd 14yr whilst dh and I went away for 2 nights and she says he was fine then .I don't understand hos behaviour ,anyone else get this?

Sorry it's so long ,thanks for reading .

hi, sorry about your prob - must be hard to be 'in the middle'. My parents are long distance gp's too, last time we saw them I thoughtds would adapt better than he did, but now we're going to see them for 6 weeks... Don't know how it's going to go - last time I left him with them to get my hair done...& he threw up all over Nanny as he was crying so hard... Just wanted you to know you're not alone!

oh that makes me feel better nathanmum,how old is your ds?

2.6 going on 16

My parents are not as far away as yours but still in another country. We see them about 5/6 times a year. The last time Mum visited, ds was absolutely fine with her, this time round he didn't want her to do anything for him or even be in the same room as him - I'm sure it's just a phase. (He's 2.5 btw)

bump to daytime

Hi there, my ds is 4 and he used to be like this with my Mum. We see the, every couple of months or so. He would even tell her he didn't like her, refuse to kiss her good night (but would always kiss and hug my Dad) He is better now, but still does it ocassionally.....

I don't know what it is, maybe it's just little boys? Or maybe they can 'sense' how desperate our mums are to be close to them as they don't see them all the time.

Dh's parents live in the US and this is something I worry about as ds is 8 months old and has never met them.

That's funny, Ds is better with my Dad than my Mum too... Well, we fly Monday, so fingers crossed!

how is your mum with your ds? I think sometimes that if people try too hard, i.e. are a bit overbearing, desperate for the child's attention, then the child picks up on this and backs away from it. My sil is a bit like this, she sees ds maybe once a year and when she comes she's constantly telling him what to do, almost begging for his attention and ds won't have any of it. Yet he's much better with her dh because he's just natural with him. I think that women, esp grannies/aunties can be a bit overbearing without even realizing it.

thanks for all your replies,good to know he's not the only funny wee bugger!
My dd who is 14 and was completely different towards them in the same situation so maybe it's a boy thing.
My mum does have moments when she acts kind of desperate at times and I know ds reacts badly ,it's almost a game between them.I have thought of using a webcam but a skype phone is a great idea I'll look into it.
I do hope he will eventually grow into some manners and realise how hurtful he is being.