So this is a boyfriend rant but I need advice too!
How can I get my DP to actually DO STUFF?
We lived together as housemates and boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 years and now we live together alone and he just never ever does anything and its getting me so so down. He never ever washes up/cleans/strips the bed/puts laundry in etc of his own accord. EVER. I have to ask him and ask him and then pester him until he shouts and gives in. I hate nagging him but he is 22 and should be perfectly capable of seeing a big stack of plates next to the sink and realising they need washing up and doing it. I asked him on Wednesday night to help me wash up a dirty baking tray, its still sitting there. The laundry basket can be full and he won't empty it and put it in the washer which involves carrying it downstairs from our bedroom to the kitchen and turning on the machine. Even after I fell down our steep stairs carrying the heavy basket he has still never brought the washing down. If I ask him he will, eventually, but why should I have to ask and pester? I am not his mum!
We have talked time after time about him taking the initiative and he just doesn't. I find it so depressing constantly washing up/tidying up. And leaving it does nothing, if I stopped washing up he would just use very single thing in the kitchen until we had nothing left and then only wash what he needed. I actually feel like a downtrodden housewife He never even moves his dirty plates from our living room to the kitchen (about 10 steps away).
I don't know what to do, I take it personally because we have talked and talked about this, he has seen me cry with frustration at his general cleaning laziness. I am back working f/t next week and I am so scared because I just feel like all I will do is work all day and then have to come home and tidy, make dinner, clean, wash up and put laundry on.
Even with our meals he never cooks from scratch, he will put a frozen pizza on but I make decent proper dinners probably 5 days out of the 7. And when he cooks the frozen pizza he leaves the packaging on the side and when he cuts it he leaves crumbs everywhere so frankly I may as well cook it and save myself the time cleaning later on. He is cooking me a meal for my birthday but I don't even want him to because he will insist on doing the washing up and cleaning the kitchen afterwards which means it will all sit there looking filthy for 3 days until I pester him enough to clean it, or get tired enough of pestering to clean it. Whats the point? And I will probably have to plan the meal and buy the ingredients anyway.
Honestly I am scared his complete lack of motivation will break us up. He is not depressed or busy, and he finds time to do all the stuff HE wants to do (ie his computer room is sorted out!)
I know we are young and students (well I am!) but we are also adults and having spent a year living with the messiest housemates ever he kept saying how he couldn't wait to live in our nice tidy house and now it seems he would be happy to live in filth again