What do you think?

[Swimmer1]

Just after a bit of advice please, but think I know the answer already!

I've been seeing someone since last January (we met online). He left in August to work abroad, we've been in contact daily, texts, Skype, viber, calls etc. I've really fallen for this guy and we promised we'd be loyal to each other. He's home at Xmas for 2 weeks. He plans to work abroad for 2 years to get money together to build a house.

The thing is I think he has a girlfriend, I've not met family, friends, he did not accept me as friend on FB, there's pics of him and a woman all over FB, like they are in a relationship. I have mentioned this to him, but he just brushes it off, making me think this is all perfectly normal. Is it? I don't think so. Hard to believe we're both in 40's!

Should I just cut my losses?

How did he brush it off? Whatever he said he hasn't reassured you. Is he planning on spending Christmas with you?

Cut your losses. Everything you're describing, including being told it's 'perfectly normal' screams a man leading a double life where you are the OW.

It's not looking good is it?
But think back- before he went overseas did you go to his house at all? where did you hang out and what did you do?

Who did he say this woman was in the FB pics?
It could be an old flame and innocent.

In your shoes I'd cool the contact now and see what he does.

Have you ever met him in person?

What excuse did he use for not accepting your fb request?

If you don't trust him then yes, run like the wind :)

Thanks for your response. He just said they were friends, it looks like more. When I went on about it, he didn't say anymore. I felt silly then, but as you say akaWisey he hasn't reassured me.

Xmas, nothing confirmed yet although he says he's dying to see me.

Without being too specific, what kind of work does he do? Could he be the 'sailor with a girl in every port' type?

Yes, been to his house loads of times, FB..said he's not on it much, when he is.

My gut is telling me other woman!

Thanks so much for your responses

So he isn't being honest with you about FB which probably means he isn't being honest about this woman in the pictures. I'd bin.

Hi All

Thanks so so much for all your advice. You were just confirming what I already knew - but I didn't want to face it.

I called him, he didn't answer, so text him just to say everything I said here and a goodbye. He never responded, so obviously I was the OW.

Feel shit now...how could I have been such a fool.

Sorry just needed to get it out! Haven't told anyone else.

You'd only be a fool if you'd buried your head in the sand once you had doubts. It's one of the perils of meeting people online, unfortunately. Very easy to present as something they're not. Put it down to experience and move on.

Least you've found out now that he's not to be trusted, rather than a couple of years later, don't feel like a fool, he is, he's lost you.

Ah thank you Cognito and Jan, suspect I'll feel foolish for a while. Just feel really deflated and let down at the moment, but onwards and upwards

Sorry Cogito

That's OK... it's a daft nickname anyway :)