HOW TO SURVIVE 10 WEEKS!

[tweedlezee]

I have 10 weeks left with FW. This will cover Christmas and New Year.
I have sorted those out (or he has really but I am too tired to care).
But I just have to get to the 14th of January.
Has anyone else out there survived living with and ExP?
Got a futon to sleep on so not on the sofa. I left our room because he won't leave. I am leaving the house because he won't leave (STUBBORN P*K) But new house is beautiful, cheap, worth the wait, rent form friends. So it is just help from SURVIVORS!!!

Two years from giving him notice that we would be divorcing to receiving the decree absolute, then another four months before the house was sold and we moved out in separate directions. Yes, it was hell. But it passed eventually. I wouldn't say I came out of it with my sanity entirely intact, but nobody was murdered. Meanwhile I derived a certain grim amusement from being studiedly indifferent to his attempts to wind me up. He couldn't understand why the buttons didn't work any more (answer: he pressed them too many times and they wore out).

My buttons are definitely stuck. Was almost in hysterics today when he was trying to get me to stay by guilt tripping me then telling me I might be a bit crazy.

Who wouldn't be crazy putting up with a FW?!?

Do you have DC? How old are they?

Try and spend as much time out of the house and have a very busy routine. Best way to make time pass is to not have too much spare time. Are you living as if you are still kind of together e.g. eating meals as a family etc?
Mine just buggered off unannounced and without any warning of him leaving me. I cannot imagine how I would put up with him for months.
Sending lots of and to get you through!

Just focus on your new house and how lovely it will be, start looking around for some lovely little things for it.
If your stuck in the house with him just bury your head in a book and ignore.

Yeh kids are 2 & 3 so I am here most of the time but I have managed as recommended to planplanplan! it is very refreshing because he has not "like" planning for years now so I am freed by it. Due to his EA nature he will switch from feeling to feeling depending on what he things will get a rise which can be EXHAUSTING!
I do yoga, I might do it twice a week. BUSYBUSY, too busy for his drama yes?

practice your beautific smile while visualising your happy place, in this instance your new home. or picture yourself as a content round buddha just sitting smiling benignly at all his button pushing.

Yep I was stuck in same house for three months. My dog kept me sane. Every time I wanted to kill him, or cry, I took my dog out for a long walk and let the fresh air and exercise help me get rid of all the bad feelings.
I stopped cooking for him, apart from the one time I spat in his soup and avoided him as much as possible. It was awful for the DC and I was so glad when he finally moved out. I really think he thought I would change my mind and beg him to stay. Not fucking likely.
Do you have to spend Christmas Day together? Not being funny but at your kids age they won't know exactly what the hell is supposed to happen Christmas Eve/Christmas day etc Can you get out for a bit?
Good luck and I promise it will all be worth it in the end.

Amazing. You women are amazing.
To not think I am the only one - PHEW!
I think he thinks I am going to change my mind. Like I am having a break down. At least I am not staring into the abyss that was my current situation.
Christmas he is going to take the kids to his parents and then they are going to come to my mum and dads for boxing day.
so I wont be with him. might even go down early with the kids. break it up a bit.

Do you have any good friends locally with a spare room? It may help to spend a night a week away from home. Seeing friends, going to cinema alone even. Helps to stop the pressure building, as you're never more than 6 days away from a break from him! And gets the children used to not always being with both of you.
We did 4 months together whilst I bought a house. I'm lucky as I work away a lot - but I also did a fair few weekends away with my daughter, so it never got too claustrophobic!

I used to go and stay with friends. Eventually he went to a B&B because it was so awful.

he is so funny about me 'taking' the kids. I have planned to have them at my parents with me for ten days over Christmas (from boxing day).
Once I get to that point I will only have 2 weeks left.
it is like walking through quick sand. must keep moving or I will get sucked back in up to my neck and I have only just managed to get my head out for air.
I have to stay though otherwise he will say I left my kids and I think it would forfeit any rights I have or I would have to fight in the courts. MEH! I hope that by being here he will get off his high horse and realise he might lose EVERYTHING if he doesn't except this. it doesn't matter for me because I am passed caring what he thinks. BORED OF THAT! but for the kids. Bless them

Me too - I survived 6 months.
But only 1 DD and she was older so I was out a lot.
I went to the gym every night and didn't get in until 9pm and then had a bath or shower and went to bed.
And I had to sleep in the spare room as he wouldn't leave the bedroom - arrogant arseholes!!!
My excuse was that he wouldn't be there to look after DD so I left him to it to make the most of his time left with her.
He would visit his family weekends and if he wasn't then I'd visit mine or friends - or friends would come a stay. Made it all more bearable!
We also had dogs so I would get out and about and walk them quite a bit.
He moved to another country!

oh wow, 6 months!! well done you!
my FW won't leave the bedroom either. though he said "are you alright in the lounge" last night and when I said a firm yes (it has a lock on the door!) he said "oh, no need to be like that with your attitude, I was just about to ask you if you wanted me to sleep there occasionally" what a FW!!!
he also 'arranged' with a friend to come over and babysit (oh how amazing you can do this now....) whilst we went out to a neutral place to talk. I said no. Not only did I not want to do that I also feel I should be asked PRIOR to you making this arrangement. So it is a JOINT decision. All he is doing is helping me to know where my boundaries are for if I ever get into a relationship again.
oh and telling me "you know you will find it hard" is no way to make me stay. It makes me more determined to go and do it for myself and my kids.

My FW realised about 2 years ago that he was BU by not leaving the bedroom and is sorry about it! DICK!! He cheated and I had to move out of the bedroom! Seriously, these men, there are no words!
He admitted that as he wanted to get back together.
And no - I have never caved!
Sounds like you have it well sussed now, so keep going. The time will fly by - really, it's strange - seems like it's dragging like mad and then it's here and it seems all so fast.
So glad you have a lovely home in place to start your lovely new life!

NO WORDS!!! No concise words just complete bemusement. Prev. it was frustration now it is becoming almost a snigger. I think that is because I have detached myself from it. when he is in the room it is almost like being outside of myself telling myself all the good things.