After I left my horrifically EA ex, I also researched cults. I longed to see an 'exit' counsellor to debrief, to drink in some sanity from someone with all the right info; someone to reassure me and confirm that he was mad and dangerous. There were two of us in our cult: he was the leader and I was his proselyte. I couldnt tell anyone, there was no-one at all I could talk to about it, no info at the time. I eventually found a site buried deep on the web - Sam Vaknin. At long last I found something that made sense to me, which fit ex like a glove (NPD). My family also thought he was marvellous. Still do. 
2013, although the whole process has been cut short for you (because he ended it), you missed out the pure mind-bending hell of getting to the point where you know you'll die if you stay with your abuser. I wish I was exaggerating. It was pure horror and I did go mad for a while. It was a terrifying time.
Maybe you're going through the choppy waters as you process it all - only he's not there to interrupt the process, which has to be a good thing (which may be an academic comfort for you at the mo, I appreciate that). Maybe you have to accept you'll be a bit 'mad' for a while. All part of detoxing from his poison. You do, and will, come back into focus eventually.
I don't know if I've posted before on your other threads that after I left my abuser I literally shook and was in an awful state, couldn't sleep, off my head - it really was like detoxing from a drug. I asked someone (a supposedy knowledgeable bod) if it was possible to be addicted to a person. She said she'd never heard of it. (I now know it is extremely common).