Online dating photos - what is it with polo shirts and 'selfies' (I believe they are called)

[FolkGirl]

That's it really.

After trawling around my online dating site this afternoon in an attempt to find true love ... I am despairing at the photos of the available men.

Selfies - no, don't like them, people look strange on them.

Polo shirts - always hated them, always will. What is it with men over 39 and their love affair of all things polo shirts and beige slacks.

I could fucking cry!

That's it. Just getting it off my chest really.

Have been pleasantly surprised by POF. Very polite and genteel so far and not a willie shot in site!

I think I've realised where I'm going wrong with all the OD lark.

Late last night I re-read many of my OD emails and have noticed a common theme with the ones I've chatted with for a while/met.

The emails are all easy and chatty; there's a little bit of flirty cheekiness but it's all very nice; there's no bad language and pretty much impeccable spelling and grammar on both sides; there's an appropriate level of 'sharing' on both sides; the over riding theme is that I am "lovely" and "sweet" (Oh and I got a couple of "really cool"s and a smattering of "pretty"s too...)

I think "lovely" and "sweet" is what's ruining it for me!

That and the polo shirts and slacks...

I was on POF.

I went on about 20 dates. I'd say out of that 17 were no hopers. 2 were worth a fun 6 week dalliance. And now was a keeper

I was on POF. I probably went on about 20 first dates. Out of those I'd say 17 were no hopers. Two were worth a 6 week dalliance and the final one was a keeper

"Dont give up is my advice, screen harshly, and go with gut instinct!"

Sounds like good advice, Montane. What I love about being happily single but being up for something fairly casual is that I'm so much more relaxed than when I was OD looking for MrRight. If I accidentally end up in a relationship that's a bonus (I suppose). This means I'm screening mercilessly and not wasting lots of time and effort on unsuitables. I refuse to get into long drawn out texting/emails/chats; if they don't meet me quickly I go off the boil, so they have to strike whilst the iron's hot. And a big yes to listening to your gut...it's telling you something for a reason!
.

"I probably went on about 20 first dates. Out of those I'd say 17 were no hopers. Two were worth a 6 week dalliance and the final one was a keeper"

I keep hearing it's a numbers game and that proves it. How bad were the no-hopers?

To be honest, none were total losers, just not right for me. I had done smashing evenings out even with the ones I didn't want to get into a relationship with.

I had a couple of very enjoyable 6 week flings that were great fun. And I've been seeing someone for 6 months and am very happy. I didn't have high hopes for him before I met him but he made me laugh like a drain on our first date and that clinched it for me!

You're right, it is a numbers game. And I, like you, looked on it as a way of having a good time and meeting people, nothing too heavy. You're also right about the meeting quickly thing. It can be such a let down if you've interacted for a dogs age then you meet them and....

I've met all of my dates within a week or 2. None have been longer than a fortnight, one I met the following day!

I'm not necessarily looking for a long term relationship. I mean, if it happens, then great, but I'm equally content with a casual things. As long as everyone's up front and honest, I don't see that as a problem.

I'm just struggling to find men I find even vaguely attractive!!

I'm a bit suspicious of 'selfies'. Not that difficult to ask someone to take a picture of you with your phone is it?

Selfies = married?

Yeah, I wondered that too, maypole.

Or maybe they are too embarrassed to say they need a pic for a dating site?

And while I'm not saying you should go out with someone you think is vile, I'd say don't be too hasty to judge a book by the cover. Because a. it may not be a flattering picture and b. you might find them attractive in the flesh

I went into the whole thng like you OP. To have some fun, see what happens. And after about 6 months I met someone I wanted to get to know better

Wrt the ones with the fish/car/motorbike, I seem to get all the ones holding up a pint - and I don't drink!

And I generally get the fat, bald, overall strange looking buggers too. All saying they're in their 40s. Yeah, sure...

I met my boyfriend on pof. His one and only picture was a selfie, just face and bare shoulders. I'm afraid it was his body that drew me in He also lied about what his job was but I knew from his age that he couldn't have that job. (Did I mention his lovely tattoos?!)

We've been together nearly 6 months now and I don't think I've ever been in such an honest relationship. So from imperfect beginnings something lovely can happen