I have been unfaithful and feel dreadful about it

[leedsgirl]

My marriage has been pretty rocky ever since I had my son two years ago. I do love my DH but things have not been great, he never wants sex with me anymore - he says he finds it hard to think about me in that way since he saw me give birth. I have been feeling so low and lost all my confidence. Recently I have been very attracted to a man at work. He is lovely and we get on so well and he makes me feel attractive again. He is in a relationship but not married. We have had a couple of kisses and cuddles but apart from that just flirting and then a few nights ago we had to go away on a conference aand ended up sleeping together. I feel so dreadful about it now and cannot believe I have been unfaithful and it has made me realise how much I do still love my DH. I want to blame the other guy for this happening but to be honest it was my instigation which makes things even worse. I feel so dreadful just don't know what to do - can anyone help?

I personally would never tell your husband.

I would ask your dh to go to relate with you; if he refuses, go alone.

Message withdrawn

well, TBH, if my husband didn't want sex with me anymore and said that he finds it hard to think about me in that way, I'm sure I'd be tempted to stray after a few years of it, too. It must have really eroded your self-confidence.
I agree with Pierre - if you want to save your marriage - which it very much sounds like - keep quiet about this and go to Relate.

Brave of you to post on here - there is every liklihood you may get lambasted by some MNers.
I think you need to see this as a wake up call. It seems that your one night stand with your colleague has made you aware of how much you love your DH. That has to be a good thing.
If I were you, I would make sure my DH never, ever found out what happened and then I would put my back into working out the marriage.
This is just a mistake and you can learn from it and hopefully make things better. Have you thought about couples counselling for you and your dh? Lots of people find that really helpful. Could you make time for the two of you to go out and have fun like you probably did before you son was born?
Good luck - I'm sure you can make a positive out of this, if you really want to.

I think you need to have counselling with your husband. i can see why you felt you needed to be found attractive by a man aswell.

I agree w/Pierre.

Message withdrawn

I agree with the other posts in that you should NEVER tell your husband but should seek counselling asap. I think that what you did is understandable given the situation that you are in. It sounds like it is much more about this guy at work giving you confidence in yourself as an attractive woman than about any true deep longing to be with him which would be much harder to overcome. You need to tell this man that you regret sleeping with him and wish to have no further sexual contact with him ie no kisses, cuddles or flirting. Flirting can be harmless an a great ego-boost but if you've already gone too far with this man then it may prove too difficult to stop at just flirting and may actually be easier to avoid him as much as possible. Good Luck Leedsgirl.