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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support For Those With Toxic In Laws

10 replies

GimmeDaBoobehz · 02/11/2013 21:16

I have noticed there are a lot of people on Mumsnet who have in laws/partners parents who are toxic and horrible.

I for one have had to deal with a lot of crap from my fiancés parents, especially his mother.

This is a place to talk about what has happened, how you feel and to share tips on how to deal with the outlaws, so to speak.

Feel free to be honest to yourself and each other, but remember to follow the talk guidelines and not attack each other. This thread is to help each other, not for a bunfight.

I hope we can all share experiences and learn from them.

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Blondeorbrunette · 02/11/2013 21:26

This thread is going to be hammers soon lol.

My mil is a cunt. I hate her.

Thankfully I don't have to see or speak to her anymore though I hate the fact she has anything to do with my children.

She told me I got what I deserved when her son took the skin off my cheek when he ground a digestive biscuit into my face.

What are you having to put up with?

Would you like to have a better relationship with mil?

Blondeorbrunette · 02/11/2013 21:27

Hammers, I meant jammers!

SnookyAnyFuckerPooky · 03/11/2013 08:42

My MIL is a manipulative old witch who pretends to be a bevevolent Irish mammy. Thankfully I don't see her as I am not in UK. YAY.

Childrenofthestones · 03/11/2013 08:49

My mother in law was one of the nicest people you could wish to meet and was as close to me as my own mother.
She died of lung cancer 4 years ago.
We all miss her every day.
It's funny how the good go first.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 03/11/2013 13:06

What do you mean by hammers blonde? I feel a bit dim asking but not sure.

Your mil sounds vile. So many things really. Says her son was better before me, leaves voicemails on my phone swearing at me, tells me I wont let her see her granddaughter (that's not the case, but we don't drive so not the easiest to get up to theirs and really can't be arsed to go there when she's so vile anyway). She didn't come to see me or my daughter when we were in hospital with pre eclampsia/weight gain issues. She tells me I don't love her son and am using him and also tells me I wont live with him so I should just let him go and just let him see his daughter.

Whenever my fiancé doesn't agree with her she blames me and says I made him say it. She also is annoyed he wont move nearer to hers which he doesn't want himself, but she says I'm forcing him not to. I haven't even married him yet and she's being vile.

future FIL isn't quite as bad in obvious ways but he has been threatening as in when I told him his behaviour was threatening 'This isn't threatening I'll show you threatening' and things like that. He's just aggressive aggressive, he doesn't even bother with the passivity.

I get on fine with his other relatives though, although they are a lot different than my own but have gone out for meals/drinks etc with the and have a laugh/message them on Facebook. His Mum is currently not speaking to him and it's bloody peace and quiet from her.

My parents try and compensate and go to events that his parents would/should go to, as they feel he's missing out. Luckily he gets on great with my parents, although he does find that they are very over protective of our daughter but if that's the worst trait they can hold, we are lucky.

Aha just saw you miswrote that word. Can't be asked to go up to the top of the post and change it though. :) Yeah wouldn't surprise me, there are some pretty vile MILs and FILs and even SIL and BILs out there.

Spooky She sounds like Mrs Brown in real life, just without the funny side.

Aww that's so sad children there are some amazing mother in laws out there too and it's a shame when they are no longer with us. My Dad used to get on great with my Mum's Dad and he died when I was 2, such a shame as he was the nicest chap you'd ever meet and nearly anyone who has met him would say the exact same thing.

OP posts:
somethingsnotrighthere · 03/11/2013 14:38

My DP's parents have both passed away. They had him very late in life.

However the rest of his family are selfish and ignorant, they don't bother with him.

BIL is a rude arrogant man. At a dinner party recently I attempted polite conversation to which he replied "I couldn't possibly be less interested"

I shit you not.

SIL is a heavy drinker (think posh wine every night) and deliberately goes on and on about subjects which upset DP.

I could go on. Gah!

CatsRule · 03/11/2013 17:07

My inlaws have always been vile but topped even themselves in the vile stakes when ds was born. Mil even told sil lies about things amd sil being a 30 yr old selfish child said pretty vile things to us re our ds. As a result, after many abusive years dh has finally cut them off...not something I would encourage him or anyone to do as I feel regrets could come and even though life recently.has been much nicer without them I can't help worry about when they will get in touch with their usual vileness again!

Sorry that was a rant Grin

Tilpil · 03/11/2013 19:52

Really don't like them and wish I didn't have to have contact with them maybe one day

KarmaBiatch · 04/11/2013 01:57

The only thing I like about my in-laws is the fact they had sex in the late 70s which resulted in the birth of my husband.

I think the word 'toxic' was invented solely to describe my ILs. I shit you not.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 09/11/2013 21:17

Sorry to hear so many bad experiences with ILs.

So glad I don't have to see fiancés family very often.

It's when I see them and then go back to see my parents that I feel so so lucky it's unimaginable.

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