He wants ds one week on one week off.

[jellyjelly]

x shithead of a partner has decided that he wants ds who is 3.5 one week on one week off. I really do not want this as i think it will upset ds and i dont think he is ready to meet the other woman as one minute we are getting married then daddy is naughty then not here.

It can work and courts are beginning to look favourably on it but and only if the couple are amicable in the extreme!

The case law in this coutry supports one home for a child and joint residency (which this would be) cases are rare. I know this as my X is also going for this and there is no way with his history I will ever say yes. My kids are older but it is not what they want at all.

JellyJelly and I are mates in RL (I'm sooooo glad I introduced you to MN all that time ago, what fab support and good practical advice!) and I 100% agree that her c* of a xdp should NOT have this arrangement! He was never there in the evenings, well hardly ever anyway. By the time he rolled in from the pub ds was usually already in bed if i remember correctly?! I know he was in for a while doing stuff when you broke your leg badly but as soon as you were back on your feet he started being out more again.

You are so well rid of him but I know that's easy for me to say. I'm just so bloody on your behalf a) because of what he has done, timing etc, b) for not considering how hurt you must be right now and c) for even daring to think that he could start trying for stupid arrangements like this after just a few weeks.

God, if I feel like this then god only knows how you must be feeling mate

Can't wait for our night out, you so need it!!!

Off to bed now but catch up tomorrow if you're around

[[[hugs]]] xxx

I am so glad as well looney, i need the support on here. I am just in shock that he wants it and thinks he can get it. His solicitor must be vicious to suggest it.

Jellyjelly you need to go to CAB and either apply for legal aid and wait for a soilicitor, but at least go to CAB and get legal advice. they know what they are talking about and hopefully will make you feel a bit more confident. as far as the csa goes, they are bloody useless. if he will agree to pay maintenance without going through the csa, i honestly would go for that. 30k out of 40k equity is ridiculous. He knows you are very hurt and is taking advantage if you ask me

I am waiting for an appointment and have seen the cab already as sson as we split but now he want this. It seems like only now he can be bothered as he wasnt before.

have you applied for legal aid?

I think i am going to be stuck if i dont, i am looking now as he wants thinks to move fast and i think they will, need a mortgage and need the job to get it.

Message withdrawn

If the house is in joint names as joint tenants, then he is only entitled to 50% of any equity anyway. There needs to be some evidence that it was the intention of both parties that one party should have a greater share in the property. This is usually evidenced by holding the property as tenants in common with a trust deed showing the agreed division. It seems that this is not the case here.

In order to get you to sell the house, if you don't agree, he will have to apply to the court for an order for sale. This can take time.

Equally, if he is not named on the birth certificate and if you have not signed a parental responsibility agreement, he cannot automatically apply for a residency or contact order. He will have to apply to the court for parental responsibility (which he would probably get, but it can help delay matters) and then submit an application for residency/contact.

Start writing down now exactly what input he has had (or hasn't had) into the care of your son. What contact he has had since the split and details of anything which you think might be significant. It helps to do this as and when you think of it as sometimes you only remember things when it's too late to include it in any court papers.

I think his CSA goes down too if he has half custody. It looks like he has ulterior motives for this, especially if he didn't spend too much time with DS before the split.

Get some good legal advice, but I think as the mum of such a young child you are in a better position than your ex.

Don't give him a key whatever you do. He will clear the house when you're gone.

Have made a sooner appointment it still isnt for a week but better than it was.