Just left my partner, now a single mum

[MamaPingu]

Feeling so depressed and down.
My partner never wanted to have a baby yet and secretly didn't want anything to do with me or the baby during my pregnancy. He was very off and on with me which made what was supposed to be a wonderful time in my life very lonely and isolating.

He had been messaging two ex girlfriends a month before I had my son. I don't believe he cheated for a second but messaging is quite enough.

Just feel like everything was a massive lie. There I was thinking everything was ok but deep down he didn't want us.

Now he loves us both since our son was born and is very happy. But for me it feels too little too late

Absolutely heart broken

Oh I'm so sorry you're going through that Mama. That must be very hard. How old is your son? Have you got much family support? My sister was in a very similar situation to you. She is now raising her daughter alone and says she is happy that way. Xx

It will get better.

Right now you're grieving for the loss of a life you hoped you'd have. You're letting go of your dream of the house with the white picket fence. That hurts. For now, you need to accept that and recognise that it's ok to be heartbroken.

After a while, you'll start to recover. And at that point your actions will make a real difference to how quickly you find your feet and build a new life. You stood up to be counted and said, "no, I won't put up with this; me and my son are worth more." The boost that will give your self esteem is huge. Along with coping as a single mother it will provide you with the confidence to really go for life - and one thing tends to lead to another.

You will be fine.

He's 8 weeks old tomorrow

It's making me feel so guilty and sorry for my little boy, and for his dad if I'm honest. I love him so much and don't want to split up but I feel so depressed and like everything's been false.
I've been sat thinking back on our memories wondering what was real.

I'm fortunate to have a lot of family support, I hope that your sister does too!

Thank you so much Dahlen that was lovely to read. You're right about grieving for the life I thought I'd have, I feel like I'm stuck and nothing's going to change at the moment. But obviously that's ridiculous and my life will come back together soon

Thankyou so much for your messages

I think you've been very courageous. The easy option would have been to stay put and pretend you could deal with it. The tougher option of going it alone, however, will give you a lot more satisfaction and it will boost your self-respect in the long run. Everything wasn't a massive lie, however. It happened the way it happened, for better for worse. Nothing's ever a waste of time, even if all you get out of the experience is a lesson on what not to do in the future.