Is this an emotional affair or just a friendship?

[outhere22]

Does an 'emotional affair' always involve feelings? I always thought it did by it's name/definition but if a male and female have frequent secretive, flirty contact but don't have any real feelings for each other - is that an emotional affair or just an inappropriate friendship?

Shirley glass quiz is in the middle.

"He says they are just friends at work and he has no feelings for her and hasn't done anything wrong."

Why would you believe ANY part of that?

You KNOW he has done wrong - he has told you at least one lie about being in touch with her.

His excuse for the lie - to save you worry - just proves that there must be something for you to worry about. Otherwise, why would he worry?

Are you in the habit of worrying about things with absolutely no reason?

No i'm not normally jealous and don't have a problem with him talking to other women which is why it doesn't make sense that that's why he would lie.

I've been checking and there are still messages from her but I don't even know whether i'm being silly to worry or not now. There's still nothing suggesting they've done anything but they just seem quite familiar with each other. What pushes it from friendship to something worse?

He lied about talking to her. Ask yourself why he would do that. Not the standard reason he gave you, but why he really would lie to you.

There's only one reason isn't there.

I don't know. It may be grasping at straws but I was trying to convince myself that he thought i'd worry as i'm not used to him having female friends. He mostly works with men so this hasn't come up before.

If he thought you would worry about something he was doing, then he shouldn't be doing it, should he. So that excuse doesn't stand up. By that reasoning, he could cheat on you and not tell you because 'it would worry you'.