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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed

4 replies

Pollyd76 · 31/10/2013 14:46

So a few weeks ago I posted about whether or not I was right in wanting to leave my husband. I got some good replies which allowed me to feel stronger about my decision. I was set to go to solicitors unfortunately dd got chicken pox so I had to cancel and have rebooked for next week. Dh is continuing like nothing is wrong and as if I had not told him I want to leave (although he is making an effort- too little too late). I am so unhappy with the situation that I am making myself ill. I am so worried about upsetting dh and dc and rest of the family that it is destroying me. I know it should be easy to just leave or get him to go but knowing he doesnt want it to end means I know he is going to make it really hard for me. I planned on leaving after xmas to make it easier on us all ( ds has birthday end nov and dd boxing day) but I dont know if I can continue being unhappy for that long. Any advice?

OP posts:
alikat724 · 31/10/2013 14:53

No advice as I don't know your history but 2 months+ is a very long time to manage such a huge elephant in the room. Hand-holding and Thanks to help you through, whatever you do.

Stupidhead · 31/10/2013 14:55

There's never going to be a right time and it'll make you resent him more to put it off. I've been there.

CogitoEerilySpooky · 31/10/2013 15:39

If the situation is already making you ill, it won't improve anything putting things off for months. There's always something coming up that makes it difficult to leave... birthdays, Christmas, family party ... next thing you know it's summer again and you've got nowhere.

Glad you're still seeing a solicitor. When you're not feeling strong it helps to be well-advised. Have you told friends or family that it's over? Get their support?

Pollyd76 · 31/10/2013 15:59

I have told some close friends who are being very supportive as are my work colleagues. Have told my parents who due to their own problems are unable to support me and also think that I should stay for the sake of the children. I am seeing my gp tomorrow as I passed out at work yesterday which I believe is due to the stress of it all.

OP posts:
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