DH is up to something, but what help me!

[Helpmeplease2013]

I'm a long time lurker on the relationship board but first time poster as something has not been right for a long time.

Me and my husband have been married 9 years we have a 7 yr old son. Before our son we both had full time jobs. I moved into his house and we settled down. He still has a very good job and I am self employed and I make and sell my sewing and embroidery online and at fairs so I don't make much money but its what I enjoy. We manage money wise.

So anyway 2 years ago I had a very urgent gut feeling one day that I needed to check his phone it was a powerful feeling he was upto no good and the evidence was on his phone. He was going running so I was going to check as soon as he left, I went into another room as soon as I saw him run off I went to grab the phone from where its always kept and it was gone. I searched high and low for a hour and couldn't find it. When he came in he had it on him and made up some stupid excuse. He never took his phone anywhere. That feeling went away and I didn't have any reason to doubt him. He works away a lot has his hobbys and is a private person and always has been.

In the last 3/4 months things have got out of hand. His behavior has got stranger. New wardrobe, new designer pants (not a designer person normally) wearing aftershave to work and doing his hair and shaving regularly he would not normally do any of these things for work.

His mobile is double key protected has been for a while he's always on it chatting to people it's glued to him 24/7.
His laptop holds all the information I will ever need to know. Bills don't come to the house everything is done through his email. He only ever gets his laptop out when I go to bed and he comes up after I'm asleep. If I go down for a drink he will minimize the screen or shut it closed if I ask I get a non of your business reply. His laptop is password protected.

2 months ago out of the blue he gave me the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech.
I have slowly detached from him after this outburst and normally the affectionate man I married is now cold no hugs kisses or sex.

He is no doubt in my mind upto something I have prepared myself for Internet dating, affair or prostitutes. I now need to find out what as I need proof and I think if it is any of the above I will be divorcing him.

How do I find out? His laptop is my way in here but if its password protected will a key logger work?

I need 100% proof before I confront him as he will blame me and I will never find out.

Can anyone help me?

Agree with others. It's definitely an affair.
All the signs point right to it as a lot of us already know!!!
I think you are right to split.
I hope he can keep it amicable.
Next step is solicitor and getting all the financials in place.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Keep posting for help and support.
Many of us know exactly what you are going through.
The next few months won't be easy (understatement!) but you will get there.
Men can be such barstewards!

Having so far only read your OP my thought is, why spend time and money and energy trying to get proof? You are feeling like shit because of him. He is not trying to reassure you. He is telling you it is none of your business when most things should be joint when you are married and he is acting as a man with something to hide.

Too late as usual as I see you have now decided to split. Not really mutual though was it when it is because of his actions .

Now you need to remember he isn't on your side, treat him like the enemy and protect yourself and your future as he will not play fair. He has already shown that in his cheating.

My Exh was exactly the same. New clothes, dying his hair, trimming down below, new aftershave, phone switched off when away with work, money missing from the bank account, hiding the phone, minimising computer screens.

Of course denied any affairs etc. I did a little snooping and found condoms in his wash bag.

Thankfully he was gracious enough to pack his stuff and move straight out. That was 8 years ago and good riddance to the moron.