Expecting second child and relationship going down hill

[Piula]

Since I got pregnant with our second child, our relationship has changed. Feels like DH got jealous or he's gone into being and old fashion man! I have never been the best housewife but I try my best, he's always saying the house is a tip, I don't speak nicely to him. We have a toddler and I'm 34 wks pregnant, I've been feeling tired at this point. I cry a lot as his words seems to be very sharp. I know my hormones are all over the place, but he seems to think I'm healthy enough to carry on life as normal as if I weren't pregnant. I work 3 times a week as well as being a mum and wife! Should I tell my midwife?

Yes I´d tell your midwife, Also do you have any RL support, friends, family? Id talk to them aswell.

It sounds not right from what you have said.

Can I ask was this pregnancy planned?

Has your DH every been like this before?

To be honest they first thing that went through my head reading your post was is he having an affair.

Hope your ok? the morning ladies will be along in a bit and will no doubt be much more help than I am.

Tell your midwife, make your health and wellbeing top priority, and also stop trying so hard to be a good wife. He's not actually interested in the standard of your housework, he's just picking fault and crushing your confidence so that he keeps you under control. If the house is a tip, tell him he knows where the dusters are. It's not your hormones, you sound like you're living with an uncaring bully. Very common and completely unacceptable.

I left my exH when ds2 was 4 months old, it can be done if needed.

Strangely I became much more assertive when I was pg and unwilling to put up with his unfairness and bullying. No idea why but perhaps the same assertiveness and unwillingness to deal with his shit is happening to you as well. The expecting you to do the same things as before pregnancy sounds like an extension of the 'I work harder than you, my life is harder than yours' mentality.

Yes speak to your midwife. Open a separate bank account and always keep enough money in there for petrol or train fare so you can leave at any point. He does not need to know about this account, get statements online so he can't open any letters.

I feel for you I really do, I hope he changes and becomes the husband that steps up once your baby is born .

Well things sort of are getting better. We event together to the antenatal class last week and maybe that's why he seems more caring.It's our second one on the way we didn't plan but I couldn't get pregnant anyway; another miracle... He's been helping with the tidying up without me having to ask...but still a bit funny. Surely he isn't having an affair lack of time plus we're always together. We have a DD who's been poorly this week and he's been hands on, took the decision of taking her to the GP. Thanks everyone I felt your support and kindness!

Feeling much better now! Got some good friends I've spoken about and got support! Thanks

I thought about talking to my midwife then I felt hummm maybe not! I really like her and perhaps I should talk more how I feel to her! Thanks