Am I being stupid ? scared to trust.

[harvestwidows]

Hello all
Just after a kick up the bottom really, have been with OH for a few years now we are both quite young 25 (OH) and 23 (me) and have decided to move in with each other before Christmas and spend our first Christmas together in his house. OH is a farmer and I don't get to see him much during the busy periods ...harvest mainly . So moving in together seems perfect will be able to spend more time together and I can help out more with the financial running's of the farm. OH is a fantastic guy never met anyone so considerate and perfect we have been together since teenagers and I have found my soul mate.

So what's the issue ? It's the life I have always dreamed of ( I do understand how much hard work such a lifestyle is ) but I cannot think of anyone I would rather do it with. My issue is before OH I was in a destructive relationship in which I was cheated on behind my back for a few months. Since then my trust in males has been destroyed I'm the type of person that struggles as it is to trust people and this confirmed it for me. Despite trusting OH 1000% I'm worrying if we move in together he might get bored of me and drift away to someone better looking ?

Do you know what is even more stupider about this theory.... ! He has dropped hints about proposing, discussed children, explained that all future plans are including me and he cannot think of anyone better. Yet this evil nagging little voice in the back of my mind will not go away.

and for anyone who managed to read my ramblings, I needed to get it off my chest.

Kick up the bum would be welcomed.

Hw
x

Its not an all or nothing deal. Try it, move in & if you're not happy then just move out again :)

The problem with not trusting is that you need to trust to overcome it...

I honestly would love to move in with him, I am completely excited by the idea.

That's completely true, I trust him perhaps its more not trusting myself ? I feel like I am not good enough for him .

it's sounds like you love him alot and hats of to being with a farmer:) tough work.

I agree with above. you love him & you sound like you also want to take this relationship to the next step.

not all guys are like the dooshbag you had to deal with

I do Killpeppa he is an amazing guy, I struck lucky with him.

We have never really argued and I cannot see moving in altering this, apart from the obvious of being together more. I cannot wait to move in I'm practically packed .

Letting go of the past is needed , it's affecting a beautiful future.

Thank you for a kind kick up the bum

Hello OP!

I think it's really normal to mull things over like this and feel a bit keyed up when you're about to make a major life change.

But it sounds like he makes you happy so take a deep breath and go for it

Good luck for a long and happy life together

Bless your heart.
You sound as though your self-esteem could do with a boost.
this is apparently a very helpful book for that.
It's on my 'waiting to read' bookshelf. Must get on and read the bloody thing

Aww, he sounds like a good un.
They are out there, I got one too

OP it is natural after a relationship which foundered on the other person's inability to stay faithful to worry about your next partner. Your farmer OH sounds like he's in it for the long term. Live for now.

Thank you everyone, kind kicks up the bum were needed. I need to live in the now and you have all picked up on how genuine he is from one post. That book looks fab have just ordered it so will keep me busy over winter.