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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I deal with an ex spreading hurtful rumours about me at work??

30 replies

Day300 · 28/10/2013 20:51

I know I was silly to get involved with someone at work as these things do happen but I really need some advice.

I work for a large company over many different bases, me and a XP met and work and lived together for 6 months. In this time I unexpectedly fell pregnant but miscarried. We then split up, he was rather nasty about it. But we both moved to different work locations and I moved on, never mentioned it etc.

This was 2 years ago, now I found out a few months ago we are being moved to the same location. I called him up and asked him if he could not mention that we had a relationship and be civil to each other. He agreed. All good I thought.

He moved to the location 2 months ago, I'm moving in a few weeks. I've heard from 3 seperate sources that he has told people we had a relationship, and that I was vile to him and trickle him into getting pregnant then terminated the pregnancy without telling him then threw him out Shock Angry

I have never mentioned it to anyone we work with, I am a private person and I'm devestated he could be so callous and tell such outrageous lies. It must have come from his mouth as these people knew intimate details.

And to make it worse, his new girlfriend, who also works for the same company has been telling people who she works with how upset he is at having to see me again after I treated him so badly Hmm Angry

This is such a bolt out the blue after such a long time I am shocked and angry. I want to scream and scream at him.

Please give me some advice as I'm worried about making myself look crazy by having it out with him but don't want him to get away with it. I'm also single at the moment and haven't met anyone decent for ages so feeling a bit sorry for myself Sad

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 29/10/2013 17:32

Problem is that if she does that she is drawing attention to exactly what she doesn't want ie her employer to know she had a relationship with him

And IME idiots like this need a real rocket up the arse to stop them

and I knew it was slander (not libel) as I have O-level Law Wink

Twinklestein · 29/10/2013 17:39

I didn't mean to sound snippy, if I did I apologise, that wasn't my intention.

It's not her drawing attention to the relationship - it's her ex, which is in her favour. In her situation I would not say a word about him at work to anyone, only in a confidential discussion with management/HR.

BitOutOfPractice · 29/10/2013 17:47

You didn't at all Twinkle. Plus, you were right!

You're probably right tbh. I'm curently dealin with an arsehole ex business partner and he has ignored all the proper channels so I'm having to give it to him both barrels toady. That may have coloured my response!!

Twinklestein · 29/10/2013 18:28

You give him both barrels Halloween Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 29/10/2013 19:06

Oh twinkle I am. He has made my life a misery for 8 months and I just want him out of my life and affairs.

My solicitor today said to me. "It's quite obvious that this man is an arsehole. And that is a technical legal term!" Halloween Wink

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