Splitting up with a 3 year old - help

[rosierosa]

Hi there, so i have a three year old and i am splitting up with her Dad, who she completely adores. Our relationship has pretty much been tough from the start and he only moved in about a month before she was born. We have been 'together', but have had seperate rooms - his insistence, even when my daughter was first born. He has a stressful job and can be realy stressy and takes it out on me, although it is always my fault! Ive found that i go to bed before he gets in from work. It makes me really unhappty, but it is so difficult. we split up last year for two weeks but my daughter had massie wobblers, which i stupidly didnt expect. Then i buckled and we got back together. I tend to go out a day at the weekend with my friends as i am a stay at home mum. When we spent time together we just dont get on and my daughter sees us argue. We decided to call it a day yesterday and im reading things and thikin, maybe he is nt that bad. But, i feel like life is too short and neither of us are happy and i feel like we're missing out on our lives. I know it will be hard. My mum was a single mum and thinks you should hold onto any man at any cost. I don't, but help!

Thanks x

If your relationship has been 'tough' from the start then it doesn't sound like it was built on any sold foundation that you can get back to. So splitting sounds like the intelligent choice. Your Mum's opinion is very common but the recipe for disaster.

Your 3yo will probably still be upset that Dad is not going to be around all the time but, at that age, their view of the world is a) in the moment and b) entirely how you present it. So keep her routine the same as normal, show her lots of affection, be positive and happy about everything and, if she's going to spend time with Dad, tell her right before it happens rather than too long a run-up. For a 3yo a couple of days is an eternity.

I've been a single Mum for 13 years and DS has only limited contact with Dad for various reasons. Yes, it can be challenging at times but it is also very rewarding. Good luck

Thank you, very much for that. I don't think there is anyway back. It's better sometimes just to bite the bullet i think and i think that is wise words re keeping the routine the same etc and lots of cuddles. I try to do that all the time and did last xmas when we split up before but she just went crazy. Had the worst meltdowns i had ever seen - they woud go on for about half an hour at a time and in the night when she woke up and realised that he was nt here. I suppose this time around i will be prepared and know that i have done everything i can possibly do. I was just in the house earlier and dreamt about how nice it will be to not have a moody so and so to come in!

Well done on doing it on your own, it is really hard, but like you said really rewarding too. Thanks and take care -)