I don't want baby but my partner is really broody -aged 43 does

[windywoo123]

Hi
I have been with my partner for nearly 10 years. We are in a civil partnership. I hit 30 and was broody but decided I didn't want kids (was in a previous relationship) I am aged 42 and my partner is 43 and has told me she feels broody and has discussed the idea of having a baby with her friends who are all supportive of the idea. I have health issues and struggle to work 30hours a week and just don't feel I have the energy or desire to bring up a child. I love kids but I just don't want one. My partner feels a child would give her life more meaning/purpose and that I should be compassionate and talk the issue through but I am struggling to do this. I feel this is more about her personality and that you can get meaning in life in lots of ways without necessarily having kids.I believe she avoids engaging in any activities outside of work that would give her life more meaning-as do my friends.
We have spent the last two years getting a visa to emigrate to Australia-this has been granted and I have a good job there starting in February. She would join me (that was the plan) after some surgery we have been fighting the local NHS for, for 5 months -this has now been agreed.
I feel really angry that this additional issue has suddenly been added to what's already a stressful time. My way of coping is to cut myself off and let her get on with feeling what single will be like -just the way I am . I just feel that I don't know what to do...she says the feelings may pass?
She was pregnant in her 20's but had a miscarriage and felt at that time she didn't have the resources to bring up a child alone anyway..

any advice please help?! thanks

All good - as you are giving the same advice as me but sugar coating it, i'll assume we are in agreement.

It's just the methodology that differs.

Thanks for having my back and ensuring the advice gets across.

I think you should talk it out with her as there seem to be a lot of practical problems in the way of you having a baby: her surgery and recovery, moving to Australia, is she thinking donor sperm from a friend or IVF (if IVF how would this be funded?), her likely fertility.

If she is thinking about IVF then you should both be realistic about the likely success rates - at 43-44 the success rate is only 5%, she may think it is much much more.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24652639

Realistically with all of this is mind, it will be ages before you TTC and the likelihood of a baby is very low. Has she realised this or has something else brought on the broodiness - her realization of ageing, cold feet about the move, lack of confidence which she thinks a baby will fix with it's love?

You do need to talk but not just so she can change your mind, so you can deal with facts and possibly some painful emotions.

Assumptions do appear to be your skill-set, PrissyEnglish. Along with a lack of basic courtesy (and judgeing from your posts in this thread, even self-respect). A pity.

OP, your wife is facing a lot of frightening challenges, with the op and the move. It may be that the whole baby idea is more of a fantasy than anything else - a distraction from the very real events ahead. I hope it all works out for you.

Honestly, shes 43 already and is talking about maybe wanting a baby sometime...? It's not an actual likely prospect, is it?