Cheating husban

[Upset69]

Hi
I need help and advice, I have been married for 21 years and have found out my husband had been cheating on me for the last 6 weeks.

I had a gut instinct and finally found out the truth by going through his phone and it was the hardest thing I had to be confronted with.

Since finding out he just continued to lie to me about where he was going etc and finally admitted that he was still going to see her and they speak all the time through messaging on the phone, it drives me mad, I have been off sick from work for a fortnight as I don't want to go back as I know that his with her whilst I'm working.

I have told him to get out of the house but he won't leave because if financial reasons but he has moved into the spare room, I asked him if he wanted me and he has said no , I am finding the situation unbearable and so hurt , I cry most days now.

Please help me please tell me this pain will go

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

OP when you say that you can't kick him out because 'there's no way he would let me do it', can you be more specific?
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[MissScatterbrain]

Yup - esp if he is the having his cake and eating it type...

[Ruprekt]

How are you feeling my lovely?

[Upset69]

Feeling like crap today, his been out for the last 4 hrs when I asked him where he was going, apparently non of my business!!!

His been gone for 4 hrs now, obviously I know where he is !!!

I don't like feeling how I feel I'm going a little crazy, so full of anger, and I'm not normally like that

[cjel]

Oh thats awful. Please go straight to solicitor tomorrow to start formalalities of living apart. Please go to estate agents or a website like a rent a room or something ready to go. Don't let him do this to you. Start looking now. He is not worth you sitting around like this, Go out before he gets home and leave the house empty and don't tell him where you've been,

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

Can't you change the locks while he's out and leave his crap on the front door step?

[Ruprekt]

Not allowed to change locks.

You have to toughen up and not give him the satisfaction that you care.

Have you told anyone in RL.....you need support.

[cabernetshiraz]

The gut reaction is to change the locks, but in reality it's very hard as its a jointly owned property. My father left, but would break in to the house, drink wine, make a mess... but the police were powerless as it was still his house, if he wanted to enter through a smashed window, that was sadly his choice.

Get legal advice, contact women's aid NOW or at least look online, get your affairs in order & get some control back x

[Ruprekt]

Which part of uk are you?

[Ruprekt]

Bump

[Ruprekt]

How are things?

[Upset69]

Well a little update, his still in the house, thinks we can live in different rooms till things are sorted!!! Every day I see him it just reminds me what his done/doing, he acts normal around me like there's nothing happening, I can't bare the thought of him texting her all the time and going round there, I'm trying to act normal around him so not to let him see how upset I am, how do you get rid of these bloody thoughts I'm getting al the time and the pain that rips through my heart daily

[Mapleissweet]

You ask him to leave. And you tell family and friends what has happened.
Please tell me you are bit cooking, cleaning, washing his clothes.

[DeMaz]

Are you still doing his domestic chores? Are you still cooking his meals?

[SweetSeraphim]

Why are you trying to act normal? Wtf should you?