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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Anyone in love with a gambler?

18 replies

WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 12:59

OP posts:

LiliLaTigresse · 05/07/2006 13:00

no
should I be?
are you?

KBear · 05/07/2006 13:03

I was once, until he emptied our joint "travel round the world dream trip" account of 5 grand so I dumped him and sued his arse (for all the good that did me - I'm still waiting ....). And I never did go round the world. sob

Original poster

WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 13:07

just asking

someone must be on here, youre all too busy being in love with alcoholics and porn addicts are you

OP posts:

bluejelly · 05/07/2006 13:10

I was. My dd's father. What a nightmare

Original poster

WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 13:10

tell me more

OP posts:

bluejelly · 05/07/2006 13:13

Serious problem gambler, lied and borrowed money constantly, even stole from his mum ( not me).
Very guilty afterwards but drove me round the twist. We could never live together cos he was so unreliable.
Got totally fed up in the end, we broke up.
Actually he is lot better now-- the stretches in between gambling binges getting longer and longer, the binges shorter. Hasn't gambled for about a year, which is good.
DO you know someone with a gambling prob?

Original poster

WelshBoris · 05/07/2006 13:14

I have a "friend"

Thats all Im saying

But this person plays poker online, and is in the bookies reguarly. He buys and sells antiques aswell so has lots of spare times

Would you advise against someone getting involved with him?

OP posts:

bluejelly · 05/07/2006 13:17

Yes I would. I'd never go out with a gambler again. Having said that I think my ex had it pretty bad ( though not as bad as some.. went to a ga meeting and the stories there would make your hair curl)

HappyDaddy · 06/07/2006 10:59

My dad was a gambler and a rubbish one at that. Mum said it was horrible as she never knew if the bills would be paid or not. When they split, she found he'd maxed her credit card and not paid the mortagage for months. She had to move to a rundown place with my brother and me (aged 2 and 3) at the time and start from scratch.

He was an alcoholic too, sounds like he was quite a sad person.

HappyDaddy · 06/07/2006 11:08

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack or kill this thread. Carry on.

Cloudberries · 06/07/2006 11:09

I know someone who is married to one - and he has other addictions as well. It is very hard for her - she is a professional working in an area where it would really harm her reputation if it was publicly known - so she bottles it all up and doesn't even confide in her closest friends. It is a shame because he is a very nice person apart from his addictions and she is still madly in love with him, though obviously it has caused VERY rocky moments in their marriage. I think her father had similar problems so I think she also hides it from her mother who she is otherwise very close to (maybe she feels like she should have known better than get involved with someone like that). I wish he would seek help, she deserves a better life than the one she has....

bluejelly · 06/07/2006 11:12

Don't apologise HD, it was a good contribution. Sorry to hear about your friend CB, so tough. Really glad am no longer with my ex. Would never ever recommend getting involved with a known gambler-- I didn't know when I met him

Marne · 06/07/2006 11:20

WelshBoris, the person your talking about sounds a bit like my Dh, he plays poker online (not for big money), he used to bet on the horses (rairly does now), he places bets on the football, tennis and any other sport but i would'nt say he has a gambling addiction as he can go weeks/months without doing it.

Hes never lost a large sum of money and has had one big win (before i met him)

Flamesparrow · 06/07/2006 11:28

My dad was one, and a good one (poker). My mum has always said "never get involved with a gambler, moreso a good one"... if they can bluff successfully, then they can lie far too well

If they are a bad one, then it is the debt etc to worry about.

If there is a child aspect in the future too, then there is some theory about it being passed on (like alcoholism). I know that I could easily become a gambler (I can see it in my personality), so I just don't do anything like it - like never taking the first drink!

Cloudberries · 06/07/2006 11:30

Flamesparrow, I agree about it being passed on to children - whether by genes or example I don't know but my friend's fil was fond of the horses, as are her bils

ILoveYouMoonDog · 06/07/2006 11:33

His brothers are the same

bluejelly · 06/07/2006 11:38

Was rather nervous that the gambling gene would be passed to my dd. She is only six but already far more sensible than him- or me for that matter. Reminds me of Saffi from Ab Fab, so hoping it will pass her by...

Cloudberries · 06/07/2006 12:32

The girls in the family are fine - seems to be a male thing - why an I not surprised?

Flip