Shouldn't be in this section really, but unrequited love........

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

I just (i mean in the last 2 hours) told someone i love them. They don't love me back.

I already knew that they didn't, and they confirmed this. Thats not what upset me though, it's that I know now I've told them they will never come back. The chats we had about 'stuff' won't happen ever again and I'll never sit next to them on my sofa again, leaning my head on their shoulder.

Needed to be said though.

Just another shit thing to add to the pile. I shouldn't be surprised.

Oh I'm sorry, that sounds pretty shitty. I am slightly dreading that may be the same for me too. Heart breaking.

How long had you been together?

We weren't actually together, we'd been fwb for ummmm about 3/4 years.

That's always the risk of the FWB set-up. Develop any kind of emotional attachment with someone who is just after no-strings sex and you're going to get hurt. Horrible to be rejected but it's no crime to love ... Live and learn?

I've just ended things with my fwb for the same reason . I just don't think it's possible for me to have casual relationships without this happening. I'll live and learn!

It's for the best that it ended then. You can't stay emotionally whole having a sexual relationship with someone you love who doesn't love you. And it will have been holding you back from meeting anyone else. Sorry you're hurting though x

Ugh, rubbish feeling. But for the best in the long run. Like Cog says, love is not a crime, it's wanting more from someone which hurts, not the love bit. Hope you have something to do to take your mind off it today.

You are all right, I know. Sucks though lol

I won't meet anyone else. I've been single for nearly 8 years. Blokes only want sex from me, nothing more.

Ideally what I need now is for him to move lol. He lives at the end of my road and I see him frequently, usually with his latest fling.

Hang on a minute ... you say they only want sex from you but you described it initially as 'FWB' i.e. you only wanted sex from them. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? Next time you meet someone better be more honest about what you want out of a relationship. Pretend to be up for no-strings and that's precisely what you'll get....

I suppose it's easy to make yourself think that no strings attached fwb arrangement is fine until emotions start kicking in. I also told myself that it was 'better than nothing', which of course it wasn't. I've no idea who will want me with 3 kids, one who has AS, or where the hell I'd find this person anyway!

Cog we were friends first. There was never a chat about what we were but I always knew it was just about the sex. He knew i wanted more too but nothing was ever said.
It all just got complicated lol

M - our situations sound quite similar. I also have 3 dc, one of whom is currently battling with mental health problems.

You've been shagging for 3-4 years and you never had a conversation about what was going on between you?

That's probably another learning point to take away from the experience. Rather than 'say nothing' in a future relationship, be up front about what you want, even if it means risking rejection. You can waste a lot of time otherwise.

OP, I think that one of the reasons the guy I've been seeing doesn't want a proper relationship with me is that it would complicate his life too much with 2 kids of his own. It's only the last few months that I've started to feel differently towards him, that wasn't the original intention! It's all a bit depressing really!

I'm hoping that now I won't be seeing him anymore, I'm more likely to meet someone else as I'll be more open to it. The same could apply to you?

Nutcracker it sounds like he was being unfair then, keeping on seeing you when he knew you wanted more. That's not on really is it. In fact he sounds selfish.

When it comes to meeting someone else, never say never. Do you have much opportunity for a social life?