Dm undermining me

[PeppaPigStinks]

I realise I am very very lucky with the support my dm gives but I don't know what to do now!

I have two lovely dc. Dc1 is two. My dm has looked after her since I went back to work one day a week.
Dc2 is 12 weeks. Initially we arranged to keep childcare the same but in reality it has turned into us spending all the day together. It's nice but my mum is increasingly undermining me with dc1. She does however help me a lot.

It's getting to the point that dc1 isn't listening to me.
Examples include;
Dc1 being asked to put her shoes on to walk home (mum lives a min walk away) and dm saying it's ok she will carry dc1.

Dc1 asking if she can take toys home. I said no and explained if she did there would be none there to play with. Mum turned round and said it's ok to take home and she will bring them back to her house again.

Me saying no to a biscuit as dinner is soon and dm giving her one because "at least she is eating"

I don't know what to do/say.

It now feels like mum just wants to take over. She is spending more and more time with us which is nice but I just want some time with the kids myself- it's like she thinks I can't cope.

Wwyd?!

sit your dm when your dh has go tthe dc so the children are not around at all (that is very important) and tell her with a shit sarnie - tell her you so love the close relationship she has with your dc and how great it is she looks after her so well,

then tell her your life is being made difficult because she is having tantrums when you refuse to carry her away form your mum etc and how dc needs to know who to listen to when you are together that needs to be you, otherwise you will struggle as a mum and you are sure your mum doesn't want that for you. Ask your mum if she can reenforce every thing you ask of dc for a while to help you. So say mum if I say no to a biccie mum can ou help by saying mummy has to be listened to as she is your mum.

That way it almost as if your mum is helping you and you are askign for help rather than having a go iyswim

Then give your mum lots of praise and thanks fro being such a great mum and grandma.