Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

To much alcohol

11 replies

littlewind · 25/10/2013 22:00

Can I ask people's opinion if I think my DH is drinking to much?
my DH has always been very secretive when he drinks so I'm not 100% what he drinks. But I see about 7 empty bottles of cider at 8% in the week and about another 7 at the weekend.
I can always tell he's been drinking by the look in his eye's. Which I think he shouldn't't look like after one or two ciders?
We've got a little ds and I don't think he should drink so much. And it's really not doing his health any favours.

OP posts:

cloudskitchen · 25/10/2013 22:03

That seems a lot to me. The secretive attitude would be ringing alarm bells for me..

hillyhilly · 25/10/2013 22:04

The secrecy implies its a big problem, what would happen if you asked him straight how much and when he is drinking?

Original poster

littlewind · 25/10/2013 22:09

If I ask him he'll just tell me he's only had one and say's there's no harm in just having one.

OP posts:

whydidthishappen · 25/10/2013 22:45

Maybe. Does he seem to enjoy drinking or does he seemm depressed?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/10/2013 05:58

The Drinkaware site has some guides on what are healthy and unhealthy drinking habits. However, agreeing with the PPs, that he's drinking in secret and then lying about the amount means he knows he's drinking too much.

14 bottles of cider... who buys it all?

Original poster

littlewind · 27/10/2013 09:13

I think he does it because he get's depressed.

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/10/2013 09:19

I would have to say that your H does have an unhealthy dependency on alcohol. You're also finding bottles of alcohol. It all points to a big problem which is not of your making. You cannot fix it either.

Alcohol is a depressant and he may well be self medicating any depression with alcohol thus making that worse also.

The 3cs re alcoholism are as follows:-
You did not cause this
You cannot control this
You cannot cure this

I would be talking to Al-anon in your particular circumstances as they are helpful to family members of problem drinkers.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/10/2013 09:19

If he's depressed he should talk to a doctor rather than drink alcohol which happens to be a depressant. I know this is difficult for you and you're avoiding the confrontation for obvious reasons but it's not helping to rehearse his excuses and add more of your own. He has a problem, it's affecting your relationship and, if he keeps hiding and you keep avoiding, you could literally waste years of your life.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/10/2013 09:21

Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire

57B Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BB

Confidential Helpline 020 7403 0888

MaryZombie · 27/10/2013 11:26

If he is lying it's a problem.

If he is depressed he needs treatment for depression, not alcohol (which makes it worse).

But (and this is important), you can't stop him by following him around, checking up on him and trying to control it.

There are some very good responses on this thread.

Val007 · 27/10/2013 11:37

Maybe he is on drugs?...

Flip