Not sure what these feelings are, insucure, anxious, depressed ??? Or am I just going crazy ???

[Mumof3girlys]

Ok I have posted a few times before regarding my partner about his drinking, lack of sex drive and about some facebook "banter" with his ex few months ago, but at the moment I'm feeling BLOODY MENTAL

can't put my finger on ehat exactly I'm feeling but I know one minute I'm thinking to my self I'm not sure if we have future etc then the next I'm a wreak and if he doesn't answer his phone or call me when he usually does (i.e on way to work/ way home etc) I'm thinking crazy thoughts like why/ who's he talking to if he is not talking to me!

Yesterday I just felt like he was constantly just making the quick hi call to check in then trying to get off phone when usually we would chat on hands free the whole way home! So I basically commented on it and told him I felt like that and he was just like stop being mental I will call you when I get in and 5 mins later he did asking why I was being crazy!

No I know this is NOT healthy!!! Nothing has really happened but all my old insurcurites regarding the facebook messages have come back, I feel on edge the whole time, panic everytime he picks up his phone, I check his phone whenever I can!

And today he didn't call me this morning on way to work as usual, I called him on way to work spoke briefly then he said to call when I finished, again spoke briefly and he said he would call on way home when he left office and didn't!!! I then called him hour later as had a text from his friends wife to arrange a night out and he said he was getting in bath and would call me on a minute, that was 3 hours ago!!!

I just can't describe my feelings at the moment I'm on edge almost feel breathless and shaky if you get what I mean, and now I just feel like I can't call him, when I never feel like that as we have always chatted a lot.

Part of me wants to call him and demand to know what he is playing at but I know he will just say him crazy and to chill out and the other part just wants to leave it and wait for him to call me!

Not even sure what I'm asking her, just needed to vent before my head explodes, hate feeling like this and not sure really what the route of it is

You're understandably insecure, but I can't help feeling claustrophobic even just reading the level of contact you want/need.

Me and my DH only speak during the day if we need to pass on a message or something important.

How long have you been together?

What did he do at the time to address his boundary issues around 'flirty banter'?

You are obviously anxious, this could be because you are depressed or have low B12.

It may be your intuition telling you something is wrong or just your anxiety.

I would get a check up with the GP. I

We have been together 2 years, we live 40 miles apart so only see each other 2/3 nights over weekend, we have always had quite a lot of contact and 98% of the time it's him calling me, and usually I'm totally cool and we just chat whenever and we always just talk on way to from work etc that's just the way it's always has been and it just seems to suit us but it's only been last week I have felt mental and that's what I was trying to describe in my post that I can't understand my feelings and why I'm feeling like it!

With the facebook stuff he was just sorry said it was banter only and spoke to her to and she to was very sorry said it was just shit flirty banter and all contact stopped immediately, I did tell DP when this happened that I was going to feel insecure sometimes about it and he said he understood and that he was really sorry and the thing that hurt the most was that I would never look at him the same away again!

Why am I feeling like this? What's brought it to the surface and what's the best way to desl with it? I posted last week about my birthday weekend away and the total lack of sex is it just because I'm feeling like he doesn't fancy me etc ?

I think you are right to pick up on these little signs that things aren't right. Whether other people have that level of contact doesn't matter; he did have that with you and now he's avoiding it.

I don't blame you for wondering why. I would be, too.

Thanks you imperial I just hate feeling like this, I have def been more insucure and nervy since the fb thing few months ago, honestly feel like I'm going crazy

I completely understand why you feel insecure after the facebook thing. I have my own constant battle with insecurity.

However, you may be smothering him a bit. He doesn't want to call you because its all gone a bit crazy maybe and he's not sure how to deal with it. What started first - you being insecure or his lesser contact?

Or, your gut instinct is screaming at you. It may not be the case obviously. But check it out. Personal experience.