hurting so much

[kelly21]

my nan rang and asked what i was doing told her i was staying in because i was having a down day an she said why whats the matter :s i told her i dont know when shes seen what i have been through the past couple of months am 23 have a 4 year old and am 28 weeks pregnant single again and have no friends to turn to am staying with my mum because my anxiety is stopping me going to my own house and i dobt trust mtself as i am really depressed i am fed up i dont want to feel this pain anymore all i wanted was my own little family and my ex would rather lie cheat take drugs and hit me than support us :( yet i will still take him back when he turns up because i always fall for his niceness i just cant understand what i have done to deserve this

You haven't done anything to deserve bad luck or a violent, lying, cheating ex. That would mean there was some Cosmic Poobah pointing a finger and saying 'You once squashed a spider so you get a shit life!!' Doesn't work that way.

If you're feeling anxious and depressed please talk to your GP about medication and counselling services. I'm glad you're with your Mum. Does your Nan know the full story? Please find the strength to keep your ex away and keep your DC safe. He's anything but 'nice' isn't he? Keep posting on MN, won't you?

yeah my nan konws just hate being asked whats up when they know i have been the doctors i am on the waiting list to talk to someone but its a long wait am scared to take any medication incase it harms the baby

'What's the matter?' is just your nan's way of getting you to open up and talk rather than keep everything to yourself. As for medication, let the GP advise you on what is safe for your baby. They're not going to prescribe something that will jeopardise your pregnancy and it's important that you get some balance so that you can cope with the situation and not go back with the ex that has caused all of this in the first place.

it just annoys me when people ask whats wrong when they know i dont want to talk about it my doctor told me what was deemed as safe but still carries risks and suggested i go back when the babys born

I mean this kindly, but the people in your life like your Nan and your Mum who love you and care for you, they're not health professionals or trained counsellors. They can see you're hurting and depressed and, rather as I'm doing, they're trying to reach out to you because they want to help. If you don't want to talk, tell them you don't want to talk but don't get annoyed. They mean well and they don't know what to say for the best.

Please go back to your doctor if you're struggling. Risk is relative. The risk of you feeling the way you... not trusting yourself, wanting the pain to end and what I'm reading as feeling suicidal ... has to be offset against the risk to your baby of taking the medication. If the medication carries a very low risk, it's got to be worth reconsidering.