I'm 13 weeks pregnant and so probably very hormonal, so feel free to slap me if I'm being ridiculous but not too hard or I might cry, but part of me isn't sure if I am being paranoid or not. I was tempted to start an AIBU thread but I'd get torn to shreds on there, I know it's probably just down to hormones etc but my DP is behaving oddly with regards to this girl he's met at uni.
We're both at university studying different courses, this pregnancy is unplanned but we're trying to be mature about it - sometimes it does seem like I'm the only one trying to be mature though, he seems to be trying to run and hide from it at times.
This friend is younger than him but a little bit older than me and he's known her for about 6 weeks; they're on the same course.
He texts her all the time and often ignores me for the sake of texting her. It seems like whenever I'm around he's got his head stuck in his phone, texting her, and he'll be vague and moody with me. I've been to the doctors today and told I've got a UTI; these always affect me badly and last time I was in so much pain, I ended up in hospital with a kidney infection. I managed to go to lectures for an hour but had to head back home, OH had stuck around on campus to wait for me and I had to call him three times before he'd answer - turned out he'd stuck his phone on silent, despite knowing I'd be calling at about half ten, so that he could speak to this girl without being disturbed. The girl had stayed at uni for over an hour specifically to see him.
She's constantly talking to him about her failing relationship and how everyone assumes her boyfriend is a nice person but how he likes to get things his own way, how my OH is the only one she feels able to talk to about it etc - she has other female friends on the course, but seems to cling to my OH like nobody's business. I feel sorry for her if her relationship genuinely is failing, but a lot of what she's told him sounds like she's trying to get with him - not from a jealous viewpoint, I used to be friends with a lot of guys and they'd fall for it too.
Next week OH is on reading week, and she's invited him round to hers, an hour's journey away, for the day. I can guarantee that if I was invited to a male friend's house, he'd be wary about it and constantly plaguing me with questions, but I'm expected to go along with this. He seems to attract friends who need him to make themselves feel better - he's a lovely guy with self-esteem issues, and he's constantly complimenting people. He has a habit of calling other girls "pretty", which gets on my nerves, but he insists it's just a friendly way of making them feel better about themselves.
He's made it perfectly clear that he misses being intimate with me, and yet he's the one who refuses to have sex because he's scared he'll hurt the baby hmm I explained that I wasn't up to it for much of the first trimester, and that I'd rather avoid it during the first few weeks just to negate any possible risk. He was fine with that, but keeps making these comments, and if his friend is so open about her relationship, I've no doubt he is too. I've seen her a couple of times and she doesn't seem to like me very much, and doesn't seem to like seeing me with him.
I can't talk to him about it because he gets defensive and touchy, and says "I won't talk to her again" and goes in a huff.
Sorry this has turned into an essay, should probably have started a thread or something but I just need to vent and I need someone to either slap me and tell me I'm being ridiculous and protective, or to hold my hand and say that they'd be a little bit jealous too.