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Original poster

Sister asked for favour - what should I do?

62 replies

Bozza · 04/07/2006 22:37

My sister is going to Canada with her DH and DS. They are flying out on Saturday 8th and coming back two weeks later. They had arranged for my other sister to take them to the airport and back. Only it turns out they don't arrive back until 9 am on Monday 24th and sis is on a course that day so can't oblige.

My sis has asked if I will pick them up from the airport. We live about 1.5 hours from airport and Dsis lives similar but also similar from me - so that would be about 4-5 hours driving minimum for me. I said I wouldn't be able to fit them in (I have Fiesta) and she asked why so I said because of DS and DD. Fairly obvious I would have thought. So she said couldn't I leave them with somebody. I don't have family nearby and have two friends who help me out sometimes. But one of them is on holiday and the other who normally works on a Monday does have the week off but I can hardly expect her to babysit my two from 8 am on the first day of her holiday for half a day can I? Also reluctant to use my babysitting favours up for my sister.

What do you think? Have thought about suggesting they park their car somewhere nearby and I will take the kids and give one of them a lift to get the car. DH and I have not had a lift to the airport since 1996. We have always paid to park or done taxis.

OP posts:
harrisey · 04/07/2006 23:00

EVEN the beach in Barra (not Benbecula, Marina!), has taxis AND a bus!
Dont do it!

Chandra · 04/07/2006 23:01

... and overhaul flights are not a life changing phenomenon, yes you are tired after them, but it is not the end of the work. We normally drive a good couple of hours back from the airport straight after the longhaul flight, if we are tired we just stop and take a rest or take turns.

Although I have to conceed that since I have DS I can not longer go straight to work after a trasatlantic flight.

Chandra · 04/07/2006 23:02

end of the world, even

Marina · 04/07/2006 23:03

I apologise for my southerner lack of Highlands and Islands airstrip precision Harrisey

harrisey · 04/07/2006 23:45

lol marina when you live in the outer hebrides this kind of knowledge becomes a matter of pride!
They have to kick the cockle pickers off the beach when the plane is due!
They were going to build a runway a couple of years back as BA didn't like the times being variable but there was a HUGE public outcry.
Oh no I have been reading the 'Stornoway Gazette' too much!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/07/2006 07:23

Bozza,

You are being put upon besides which this sister won't actually respect you any more for doing this for her if you said yes. She probably wouldn't even cough up any petrol money. She's a user along with being cheeky.

You can also cite lack of luggage space - boot space is not huge in Fiestas (speaking as an owner of such a car). You'll never get for instance three large suitcases inside along with their attendant hand luggage.

I would tell her you unfortunately cannot help her out this time around for the above reasons. Unreasonable sis may go off on one at you but she'll manage.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/07/2006 07:35

My brother gets my parents to take him to and from the airport (and they live about 2 1/2 hours from Heathrow) and I tell you now he does not respect them any more for doing so. Its almost like he expects them to help him.

Original poster
Bozza · 05/07/2006 09:14

Ooh you lot are harsh. I will have to use your collective backbone to ring her and tell her. Atilla if they are getting to the airport in a Punto it stands to reason that they can get back in a Fiesta. Personally I thought all along they would be struggling before this was dropped on me. Last time they went to Canada before my nephew was born they were over the weight allowance so obviously not light travellers.

I think I am going to cite lack of babysitter as my reason. Don't think it is on to leave a 5yo and 2yo with my friend for so long on the first day of her holiday.

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/07/2006 09:20

Given that their flight arrives at 9am, you'd have to have your children up and out of the door by about 7am to get them to your friend's and then leave by 7.30am to get to the airport in time. Not really something you should be asked to do and not something your sister should ask you to get a friend to do.

catsmother · 05/07/2006 09:30

"if they are getting to the airport in a Punto it stands to reason that they can get back in a Fiesta."

Yes. But only if you farm out your kids. The Punto would have been kid-free so space for luggage on half the back seat etc.

I don't think you should feel bad about saying no. Personally, I wouldn't have asked in the 1st place but if you do you have to be prepared that you might not get the answer you want.

oliveoil · 05/07/2006 09:36

The fact that you posted on here means you don't want to do it.

IF it was an elderly relative etc then fine. Able bodied people can fend for themselves.

Tell her in the nicest possible way that you can't do it, blame your children 'oh I would if I could' etc'.

xx

warthog · 05/07/2006 09:59

she can get a taxi!!! definitely! i wouldn't ask my sister under those circumstances!

Original poster
Bozza · 05/07/2006 10:15

catsmother assuming I ditch DS and DD there would be just the same amount of space in the car. Going my two sisters, my BIL and my nephew - so no folding the seat down. Coming back, just me driving instead of my sister.

Now warthog I wouldn't ask my sister too. I would work out whether it was cheaper to pay to park at the airport or to get a taxi. And being as how it is 16 days I am guessing that the taxi would be cheaper.

I think I am going to say that I haven't got a babysitter so they should try to work something else out. But if they can't manage I would be willing to go to the airport and if they leave their car nearby I will take one of them to collect it. Then I will spend some time at the airport with the kids (DS would love it - yawn) and then come away. DH thinks this is ridiculous and they will end up getting their car towed....

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/07/2006 10:20

Bozza,

Harsh no. Realistically speaking a lot of people (yourself, your children, the person who would end up looking after your children whilst you take this family from the airport with their attendant bags) are being asked to fall in with their plans.

I didn't mention lack of babysitter because this had already been mentioned to you. This is why I concentrated on the car. The Punto that is being used will take their bags and them with some manoeuvring about on your sister's part. Also your sister is childfree and therefore has no issues with childcare etc. As stated before I have nothing against Fiestas (having owned several to date and I still drive one now) but boot space is limited. What if you do arrive and they cannot get their bags into your car? (they do not travel light).

I would say no to her request as well because you will feel used. If (for instance) you are driving to Heathrow you cannot park up you car outside the arrivals hall; it will have to be placed in one of the car parks with that attendant cost to you as well.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/07/2006 10:26

"But if they can't manage I would be willing to go to the airport and if they leave their car nearby I will take one of them to collect it".

Bozza,

You sound like a really nice human being but you run the risk of feeling and being used here by someone who seems not all that gracious.

Even if they were to leave their car nearby at a car park off site they've still got to pay to have it left there for the duration of their holiday and get to the airport as well. It would be easier all round for sister whose going on hols to arrange for a taxi company to pick them up upon their return.

Original poster
Bozza · 05/07/2006 12:37

Hmm Attila you are right. Will have to ring up and let her know. I think this is just the way they tend to do things in my family rather than my sister in particular.

OP posts:
Blu · 05/07/2006 12:47

people seem to live in a bit of a fog where airport journeys are concerned, don't they? tbh, i don't see why your other sister has to take them, either! Isn't there any cheaper off-airport parking that would work out economically for their own car?

Original poster
Bozza · 05/07/2006 12:49

Looked at the airport parking on line (sad I know because it is not my problem) and the cheapest I can find is £64 which I think is quite reasonable for 16 days really (it is Manchester btw). Actually Blu if my sister hadn't offered in the first place I wouldn't be in this position would I?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 05/07/2006 12:55

I wouldn't expect anyone to spend 5 hours driving to save me a £50 cab fare or airport parking!!

sugarfree · 05/07/2006 12:58

Someone said to me once "If you never say 'no' then your 'yes' becomes worthless."
The more you go out of your way to do things for people the more they expect from you.

saadia · 05/07/2006 13:49

I think sugarfree is right that people who do help out others a lot can end up being taken for granted. I know this case is a bit different because it's your sister but doing the trip would cause you a lot of hassle. And once you've expplained the problem she should just let it drop.

Blu · 05/07/2006 13:53

£64 is REALLY reasonable, compared to London, for e.g - and tbh is reasonable compared to your sister doing 3 hours driving (plus the cost of the short stay car-park at an airport - about £6 by the time they have come through customs etc) and you doing 4.5 hours driving!
Do they know they can get aprking for that?? tell your other sister!

Freckle · 05/07/2006 13:55

Just say that, much as you would love to help out, it is just impossible to get someone to look after the children at that time of the morning.

Hope she's planning on bringing you back a present either way .

SoupDragon · 05/07/2006 13:56

At that cost, I'd be happy to pay half the parking for them to avoid that long drive.

sandradee · 05/07/2006 14:03

What's wrong with British Rail? Which airport are they flying from and where do they live (you don't have to be specific)

There is a Heathrow express from Paddington every 15 mins and there is the gatwick express from Victoria.

Sorry but I think it would be different if you did not have family but I would not expect someone to do that for me.

It's not like she is on her own. How old is her DS? It might be exciting for him anyway to take the train etc.