Really chuffing fed up

[Stupidhead]

My 3 yr relationship ended last week, he just wanted to be alone..like Greta Garbo. I moved over to his town for him and am now lost. All 'our' friends are now his again. My one female friend here is married to his best mate, she'd want to go to the pub when she was down or see me when she was upset (their marriage is shit and they go for weeks without speaking) but I haven't heard cock all from her. Nothing. My colleagues live away and I'm so flipping lonely. My children are always out or asleep and even the cats bugger off to bed so I can't even chat to them. I miss him and 'us' desperately but I know he'll have blocked me mentally from his life - he does that to people. So we have no contact.

My old friends from my town have called or texted but only a couple of times. And only two of them.

His friends 'loved' me as did his family (his mum checks in on me every couple of days with texts) but I just need a friend to hang out with. Does that make sense?

I've come a long way in a week btw, no longer googling suicide sites at 2am :(

Sorry you're so down. That's the problem when your life is so intertwined with someone else's. When they go, you lose more than just one individual. My ex also had lots of 'his friends' that I thought were 'our friends'... shallow lot! BTW... reading what you posted on another thread my ex was also the open, honest and loving type - right before he decided he'd rather be open, honest and loving with his new girlfriend

If your kids are out a lot are there any activities or groups you could join so that you are out at the same time? I felt manacled to the house before a friend put me onto a music group. Or could you take advantage of half-term to get yourself and DCs a complete change of scene

Thanks Cog. My shifts are crazy right now and not regular so even joining a club isn't an option as I'd probably miss every 3 meets in a row.

The kids are away to the sperm donor for half term so it'll just be me and Jeremy Kyle when I'm not working.

It's such a pisser. I was made redundant in the summer and was going to join some clubs to widen my circle even when we were together but life got in the way. Argh!

Oh that's a shame. Can't you take the week off and go somewhere interesting? Pack a toothbrush and a thong? Do a Shirley Valentine?

Haha! I wish I could but I've only been in this job a week! I've just started training and it needs 12 weeks to finish!

Got to say that I'm well impressed with myself for holding down a new job while my insides were churning!

pats self on back

Sorry this didn't work out but you have probably turned the corner already. For your DCs' sake I'm glad you're battling on, exes are rarely worth the big FO gesture, this one would probably feel flattered so don't give him the satisfaction. The job training might hinder your free time but you can really apply yourself.

If DCs are school age and settled there's little incentive to uproot again. Come onto MN and vent. Are you able to join a gym when shifts change again, go swimming or do Zumba? Run or cycle? For now set a goal or target each month, slog away and if his mum keeps in touch that's nice but if the friends you made are sticking by him and dropping you, they're no great loss. You will stand a chance of meeting people if you can drag yourself out whether activities or evening classes or volunteering. And work could bring you into touch with new colleagues.

Yeah, thanks Donkeys x

I'm ok today! 'He' texted so I was just nice and polite back. I want to crush him with my awesomeness and how brilliant I am and what he's let go ;)

I have been thinking of fitness classes but I've smoked so much these past few weeks my lungs would give out pulling my sports socks up but I will definitely look into something like that.

And yeah, kids are teens and big exam years for them so I can hardly up sticks again. They also love it here.

His mum is a diamond, I love her. He's renting his stepdads flat which was how he moved out so quick, she's cross it was all too easy for him. But she also told me they want to move in the next year or so so the flat will be sold and he'll have to pay full rent somewhere else - she was laughing! Coz he's a tight twat. I do understand that he'll always come before me which is how it should be so I don't want her to feel awkward in the future.

I'm having a strong day! Yay! X