Has anyones partner or hubby cheated and you have forgiven them and why

[angelinaj]

How did you get over this one.

DS's dad cheated on me and to cut a very long story short we split up almost a year ago and now we're talking about resolving some of the issues that made 'us' so unbarable as a couple and getting back together. For me the feelings of mistrust will always be there, I'll have the urge to check his emails and texts frequently, though maybe relationship counselling could help with that one.

There are couples who do get through it, though it takes a huge sacrifice. For ex and me it would mean getting rid of the computer. When my dad had an affair with another woman it would have meant changing jobs and moving town for dad and mum to have stopped together, not that big a deal for us as a family but a huge sacrifice for him to give up this other woman (they met at work, longing gazes over the photocopier and a shared birthday - puke!!)

Affairs leave deep scars and personally I don't believe that they ever heal completely.

Very very slowly...one day at a time!
Yes my dh had an affair about 2 and a half years ago.
No I didn't actually forgive hime....I learned that that's ok...some things in life are unforgivable BUT we are still together we've been through a lot to stay that way and in many ways are getting stronger and closer.The thing you have to try to do (and I'm still trying) is to make peace with what he did. A lot of that is upto how he behaves now, why he did it in the first place ( it's not always about a problem in your relationship- it can be about a problem in him!)and what you had in the first place (we had 20 years together that were really good and three great children)....I weighed it up aginst his year of losing the plot!!!!!Big time!! and decided it was worth fighting for.
I'm so sorry if this is happening to you now. If you want to tell the details (or not for that matter) then you'll find support here as there are lots of us about ...trying to heal!
Can I help in any way? just ask? take care honey

Very wise words maturer!

i would if he wanted to be forgiven or to come back but i dont know if he will or not

Anjelina - my answer is time..... such a blow out answer if you are looking for something more and something like this has only just occurred to you. I'm so sorry. If it has it is a time where you wish for something to take away that gut wrenching pain. Some quick fix even if it is just for the moment. But the only way to find some type of forgiveness is to talk and talk... if he will. (mine tried but we never really got through it by constant talking) OR i had to opt for the sort me out which took time.
Slowly the heart does stop breaking in two honey, I swear. x

And now I should actuallu answer your question... sorry

Why? Because even though this man hurt me more than any other man ever has. The reason why he could hurt me this much is the same reason why I am forgiving him. I love him so very much, maybe too unconditionally. But I do, with all my heart.