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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex missed contact for pretend job interview

6 replies

TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2013 16:47

I'm basically posting on here because I'm annoyed and upset and trying to make sure I don't text or call my ex!

He usually looks after DS who is 2 on a Tuesday while I'm at work. This week he told me he couldn't because he had a job interview. I was really happy - he runs his own business with some other people and gives me no money as says the business isn't making money. So I thought, great, he is finally going to come good and top up his income. I put DS in for an extra day at nursery and paid the 50 quid myself.

On Sunday I tried to call him, he text back and said he had gone to job interview (up north) early as they had some work for him in the meantime. Sounded strange to me. On Monday I iMessaged him and asked him to call me, and the message just sat there not delivering. Then at 1am today it delivered and he messaged saying had just got back from the interview and would ring today.

When he rang I spoke to him about what I needed to and then just said, you haven't been to a job interview have you? He said he had. I said I know for a fact you have been out of the country (totally bluffing - I hadn't a clue) and he admitted it, got annoyed and said he was having a tough time and had gone on his own, and he would call me tomorrow morning and explain. Oh and he said he did go to the job interview aswell!!

I'm just so annoyed - how dare he pay nothing towards his son and pay for holidays abroad! And I just hate the lies - it's all I got when we were together. (He left me for OW in the end which was my fault as I moaned about him not earning any money all the time).

Anyway, needed to vent as I know I need to not call him back now but I keep thinking of things to say and other reasons I'm annoyed about this!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/10/2013 16:53

Is the access and maintenance something fixed by a court or are you still thinking you can mediate with this guy?

TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2013 17:01

The access is part of a contact order decided in court last year. The money we have just discussed between ourselves. He went through a few weeks of paying but for the last two months has totally stopped again.

I will probably end up going to CSA although suspect they won't get far - he has a very sneaky accountant who can make it look like he earns nothing. I believed that he didnt but now I know he's been away I suspect I've been gullible once again. I really just wanted him to pay me voluntarily, not because some organisation says he has to. (Plus, slightly off topic but the CSA policy of reducing maintenance if the father has other children living with him even though they are not his really grates on me)

I'm just upset that after nearly two years of being apart and me bending over backwards to keep it amicable, he still lies and lies and lies. I even wished him luck for the job interview!

OP posts:
TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2013 17:01

Obviously on the plus side, it's another good reminder of why I am well rid of him Grin

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MrTumblesKnickers · 24/10/2013 17:26

What a cunt! Hope he got food poisoning and/or syphillis whilst on holiday.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/10/2013 17:29

Also you know not to veer from the agreed contact ever again. No more special favours or allowances.... straight down the line. And as for paying nothing towards his own children's upbringing just because he's a clever accountant,.. that just makes him a worm. If there was any justice, courts would take something like that as proof of neglect and award 100% custody to the other parent.

TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2013 18:53

MTK - this made me laugh. I really hope so - I'd even settle for genital warts I think

Thanks Cogito. It's crazy but sometimes the support of strangers actually really helps. Exactly - if I suddenly stopped providing for DS I would be neglecting him - these fathers who don't pay up and take responsibility for their children just rely on the fact the mother will pick up the slack. I just get angry on DS's behalf.

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