is it really bad to prefer cosleeping with baby to sharing bed with dp?

[fireflymouse]

Since our dd (6months) was born we have fallen into the habit of me cosleeping with her and dp sleeping on sofa then when our 3 year old ds(terrible sleeper) wakes up he will deal with him. It was never meant to be long term but I don't actually miss sleeping with a loud snoring partner and love snuggly cuddles with dd and am sure we get more sleep this way. Needless to say dp not impressed. Is it really bad sign for relationship?

I know a few couples who sleep separately and they seem v happy! A good nights sleep does wonders.

My DP loves to snuggle up behind me ( fine with me) but has wee muscle spasm things while in light sleep that make me startle awake. It's really annoying. Not sure I would want separate rooms, but separate beds would be nice!

If there was a spare bed it would be OK. The sofa is not on really for your Dp. Would you be impressed?

Not a bad sign in the short term, but you can't carry on like this long term.
How about making some plans? let dp co sleep on alternate nights if you are not breast feeding and you try sofa?

I don't think it's a good sign for a relationship. Sofas are not designed for sleeping on so he's risking back-pain and the grumpiness caused by poor sleep quality, and couples that sleep apart can find they lose out on intimacy and affection in the long-term. There is help he can get with snoring if that's the problem.

I was breastfeeding so that's how it started out but not anymore so we could do alternate nights until we sort something more permanent out, its just that dd is used to me and settles quicker with me but I'm guessing she would adapt.

Well, at 6mo they are lovely and cuddly (and anything that gets you more sleep is good). You will find as your LOT gets older they will start to kick, push and amazingly for their size take up the entire bed. You'll be happy to see DH then ;-)

I think it's ok if it's short term, but make sure DH is on board, and yes, makes plans for what you will do in future.

Enjoy the cuddles.

Is there no way to get a portable futon in with the 3 year old do DP has a comfy place to crash in there for night wakings? Can always come back into you later in night. I co slept with DD2 for a while and DP did futon in bedroom of toddler for a year approx....we also had building work going on , so there was a lot of rejigging of bedrooms!! We did then put two DDs together and got our bed back. It took a lot of patience but we'd ended up with the arrangement as DP just wanted to sleep to ba able to work, and with our toddler he just simply had to say "Daddy's here", got into bed, they both fell asleep. Meanwhile I had big bed for wriggly baby and feeding.

We worked out ok, but the key is are both parties happy and got a comfy place to sleep. We even had DS a few years later! Lots of our friends have had similar set ups but you do need to keep an ear out for resentment...

mumbles I felt exactly the same OP becuase I woke up from his snoring and couldnt get back to sleep for hours. Son didn't snore and well, babysnuggles are the best thing in the world arent they?

Cogito is right though, we did find that it affected our closeness so we began sleeping together again.

Now we all sleep in separate beds due to repeated preg vomitting in the night. Now I wake husband up. Sweet but pyrric revenge.

My OH snores and fidgets badly and I get little sleep. Our 14 month old is a poor sleeper and I'll often bring him in to bed to get him settled and zonked out before returning him to his cot.

I would happily have my own bed, whether co sleeping with the little one or not just to get some peace from the snoring and actually get some sleep. My OH does not like this idea and I was meet with the man child tantrum, but then neither will he do anything about his snoring.

Sleep deprivation sucks and until you experience it first hand you have no idea just how debilitating it is.

Baby snuggles are just the best