The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The *Wine Witch* Into Touch, Because Enough Is Enough!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse :)

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits towards alcohol, or/and drugs.

Even if you think that you are drinking more tonight than last night or this week than last, come and have a chat, find a seat, we don't bite!

We are a supportive Bus, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now :) and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Support Teams or even your own GP.

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus as it's going to be cold tonight! Brrrr!

And, if you'd like to read back over some of our history, HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And, HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We hope to meet you soon :) xxx

Annie, he took your card??

Yeah I got my bank statement last weekend and he'd taken my card on five separate occasions to pay bills ofhis. Then he claimed he forgot to tell me on each occasion...I'm quite amazed I didn't use it aa an excuse to drink

Well done for keeping your cool Annie. I take it you've changed your pin now?

faire I'm the same, DH only drinks beer or whisky in the house. If there is any wine, he knows I will drink it (although he still doesn't understand why, he's of the "just have one" mentality)

Not sure what my next challenge will be. I keep saying I will only drink once a week, sometimes I manage it but not every week.

Perhaps my next goal will be to achieve better sleep.

I did that about a year ago, on this occasion (s) he went in my purse and used my card to pay online or over the phone.

I've nearly got through tonight, off to bed in a minute, despite having an open bottle of wine in front of me. Since joining the thread that is huge progress for me. I used to constantly think about drinking, even if I didn't end up having much, it was exhausting and obsessional. The voice hasn't gone but it's a lot quieter these days :)

Failed today. Im i get you. Lets see if we can do better tomorrow
Hope mouse is OK probably taking a break from the madhouse thread.
Failure off to bed. Tomorrow is a new day. Success beckons
Goodnight all, sleep wellxx

It's been quiet here this evening, hope everyone is ok?

Ah x posted with you rural. Make sure you drink plenty of water x

faire thanks lovely wise woman. litre of water half gone, the rest next to bed. Tbh A/F has been come day go day which is not what I wanted but doing drinkaware diary and my overall consumption is very very much less so not all bad. Sort of makes me want to keep up the fight iyswim.
In that way feel I am where you were Annie still obsessed and exhausted from thinking about drinking even when not drinking a lot, well in my case not so much, still a lot . Glad the voice is quieter for you, inspires me to try harder. Love to be where you are now . well done

rural thanks will you try with me tomorrow, don't want to do this alone, feeling tonight.

Yep, that makes sense rural. Small successes spur us on to try harder.

We have to keep trying because what's the alternative - to just accept that we will drink like this forever? No-one should stop trying at the first hurdle.

Pick yourself up and get back on it. Every time. Never, ever give up trying.

With that in mind, can I just give a quick shout out to some of the babes who were posting on this thread but haven't been around for a bit. If you are lurking, come and let us know how you are.

In no partikilar order:

Sharpkat
greeney
Ladame
babyjane
bill
Art
mew
Pamplemousse
Justlikeheaven
Flumpy
Tortoise
sadnworried
MrMeanour
meetme
HotVimto
Kumamon
blathin
Iwantobelola
ImagineJL
chopin
Rubyredlips

Sorry if I missed anyone.

Im you can never be alone on this thread, there is always someone around to chat with. Well, maybe not at 4am, but you never know x

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm really sorry for not being around of late. Life is hectic, trying to save the world as usual!

I would like to take this opportunity to reply to MNHQ's post.

The Brave Babes have NEVER had an issue with other threads that are for supporting others in the same boat as them, with any kind of addiction, and I'm not saying that anyone has now.

In the past, threads have popped up in other talk topics such as General Health, Chat, etc and the OPs/posters have been directed to the 'Bus' because at the time, we were the only, long term or established thread, with a wide variety of posters, who had been to hell and back, posting regularly, following on from JesusWhatNext's very upsetting initial cry for help.

Her marriage was in ruins, her DD hated her, her extended family too, she was lying to herself and other and her very first thread rang true with so many posters, so many women and men in fact, that it became something rather significant, as more and more posters joined and said they were in the same boat, (or Bus!) hence the BB threads remaining in Relationships.

This has been questioned before, 'why aren't we in General Health' etc and MNHQ have supported us remaining here, because of the aforementioned JWN initial first few threads.

I totally support and agree with the fact that the two threads can run and co-exist side by side. We are however, DIFFERENT

Mildred asked - Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

I think the DRY thread is long over due, reading about someone having a couple of lovely glasses of wine if you are trying, with every fibre of your being to abstain, is not conducive of your goal is it? It's like being on a diet and working in a pie shop FFS!

People here do manage controlled drinking, (myself included thankfully because of this thread) they manage complete sobriety and some of that is thanks to these threads so they post their methods of how they achieved that.

Those who do controlled drinking post about what they've had, why, how it made them feel etc and some why they can't abstain or even don't want to.

Nothing is ever posted about drinking in a nasty, goading way, but more of a 'wow I did it' way. :)

But not without this thread! Not without the huge amount of non judgement, shout out for Babes who are MIA or who haven't posted in a while (cough) and the abundance of support that is posted here daily!

As the opening titles/posts have ALWAYS said, this is a thread of mixed posters, from completely dry sober people, to raging alkies, and those who are somewhere in between.

Some seek complete sobriety, have achieved it and post to help others. Some don't and want to, more than anything. More than life at times, read JWN's thread, now that is one desperate lady who turned her life around thanks to posting about it on a very public, very open forum!

Of course, what works for one, will not work for another.

There's no reason that posters can't try both threads, and see what works for them is there? No-one wants a 'bun fight' do they? People can use both threads, take support from both.......

The common goal is to stop drinking or at the very least reduce and control your intake. From what I've read on here, there is no issue with the other DRY thread and those who want to post on both can do, of course! This isn't a school playground.

Bashing of either thread however, is not on. Maybe that is why MNHQ have felt the need to interject?

Thank you MNHQ for doing so and explaining your thoughts :)

I'm off to bed now, see you all in the morning, well, late morning as it's my 'snooze' day tomorrow - DH gets the boy up (updates on him too :) ) tomorrow too!

Thank you Brave Babes for all of your continued support, posts and honest, soul bearing. It's what keeps us all going.....

One Day At A Time :)

PS - welcome to the new Babes xxx

PPS - I hope that everyone is okay with me posting what I have and why? I'm happy to go over anything tomorrow.

Night all xxx

Faire - MrM is on the dry thread now and I saw Art earlier here? I think? :) xxx

Morning All
Sunday here. Day 9 for me today.

Hello mouse. Nice message and hope all is well with you.

Yesterday was hell and I was blaming trying to live without alcohol. I didn't really want to drink, but didn't know what else to do. Went out, but it wasn't the drinking that bothered me it was me just being in a down mood. I assumed that it was because I wasn't getting my lift from wine. But actually on reflection I reckon I was just dog tired and stressed from work. I came home and slept for almost 12 hours. It has given me something to think about. Next time I immediately blame my 'no wine' life, I should perhaps do a bit more soul searching and see what else it could be other than that. I reckon I would have had a ball last night if I had been in the right mood. Nothing to do with wine. Of course, it does help, but I know that I can be funny and good company without wine, so it's no excuse. Not sure if that makes any sense. I think I need to readjust my life entirely and it's all just a process. Wine has been so pivotal, it's like starting again.

Anyway, I'm not drinking today. Hope all you babes are doing well.
xxxx

Missed out on all the 'other thread' drama. Didn't see MNHQs take on it either. Couldn't give a fig anyway. I'm a Brave Babe AND a No Alcohol for Lifer now. Couldn't have survived the first few weeks of this hell without all you lovely ladies and your amazing support, encouragement and non-judgement. A few nights, I would be so alone and filled with self-loathing, feeling like I had nobody in the world and I deserved it all and more. Check in on the Brave Babes and ping somebody had asked after me, sent support, love or sympathy. It was like somebody lit a match in my darkness and was just sitting there, holding my hand. I couldn't ever repay you.

Day 60 for me today, and another day closer to my boys.

Good luck tomorrow. And if anybody in the UK needs a hand this Saturday night, the US overnight shift is in .

Ok so ended up having drink at family meal last night probably bottle of wine in total maybe a glass more. However I did get to day 11 which has never been achieved since the birth of ds so not being to hard on myself although my head is banging which is a sign my tolerance levels have reduced a little. Next event Is my birthday in December so will try to abstain till then day 1 today I will not be drinking x

Well done why you are an inspiration to us all xx

I'm very,very grateful for the bus and always will be. Great post mouse, and good to hear from you.Yes I like how inclusive and non judgemental the bus is and it has kept me sober and sane many,many times over.

why you are an inspiration. I'm looking forward to hearing some good news from you really soon. Don't worry about christmas, there will be loads of babes around to speak to and probably a few new babes who are ready to control /stop drinking.

isinde and this you have both done really,really well. Just think about the af days and start again soon.

socfish addressing alcoholic thinking is pretty much as hard as staying away from the booze in the first place.it is like starting again and can be tough. I rest as much as I can too- gives my poor tired brain a chance to recharge.

Well I do have an issue- but it's with aa not t'other thread (and never has been). I felt really crap on friday at the meeting,I was stressed and tired etc etc and I wanted someone to listen, maybe give me a hug. I asked for help,which we are encouraged to do and just got a load of aa orthodox twaddle. When I come to the bus I know that people are actually going to listen. They might send a hug or a kick up the arse or a joke but the babes actually listen. I'm alright now but and I will keep going to meetings - there is plenty of room in aa for people to quietly take what they need and ignore the massive egos. Think I will always try to bear in mind that if someones upset they just need a hug and a listening ear not doctrine.

Isinde deffo make a plan for MIL visit. If the weather is ok can you all get out to the local park, local coffee shop, local museum or other place where there won't be alcohol? Could you prepare a meal earlier in the day so that there is minimum cooking to be done in the evening? Would something like becks blue be ok for you as a fall back?

This visit could be another 'first' for you, I am so impressed with how you are tackling this

guggs (((hugs)))/kick up the arse - not sure which you need this morning

Why so glad you found someone asking after you here. And I am sure you are in the thoughts and hearts of many, many others. How are you today?

Soc take away all the alcohol in the world and we will still have crap days sometimes. Do you know about HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), common reasons why people think they need/want a drink. Address the emotion first - eat, go for a run, swim, stomp, phone a friend, come here to chat, rest, etc.

Mouse Lovely to see you again and great post . You've been slacking on the refreshments though, my lovely, babes are trying to live off opal fruits!

Well, it's still cold here but the sun is shining. Dh is putting washing on the line - good luck with that one. We are off out shortly to meet friends for lunch. And, no, I won't be drinking. It will be an n&t for me today

Have a lovely, restful day if you can babes. Take care of you and try to put your needs first for a change. Put your sobriety above everything else because that is the most important x

I was MrMeanour and have moved to the other thread. it was odd, because the day I posted here, the other thread started and I felt it was more suitable. Sorry to hear that people think we are critical of this thread. I don't believe that to be true. one person said they had not been believed about something they disclosed here and some of felt sad about that. That's all I have seen which could be thought of as critical. Obviously someone felt strongly that there was a problem and for that, on behalf of the 'Dry' ers, I'm sorry. I hope we can all support each other and let this all go away- after all, surely we all want the same thing??

Quick check in so will read back properly later.
Congrats to all who kicked the ww into touch yesterday.
Just wanted to say Im if you are out there and A/F so far would love to do day 1 with you.
Be back ASAP control freak on the warpath with his MAAA TEA routine.
Amazing post mouse lovely to see you here

Quick check in.no Internet at cottage. Scenery wonderful and clear skied forecast got tonight for stargazing. Am enjoying the break

Skies lol